US House of Representatives has one Republican Congresswoman with a transgender child!

Sorry to let a bit of my political bias out, but how ironic that the only known Congressperson with a transgender child is a Republican?

And before I go on, Cheers to Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen for what she is saying in support of her child and to other parents! (See excerpt farther below.)

Of course there have been plenty of Republican politicians that we have learned over the years have gay, or at least bisexual sexual orientations. And of course Republicans are targeted and outed in the press for their hypocrisies with respect to LGBT concerns much more than Democrats, but I'd love to know what number or percent of Democrats are identified or known to be a part of the LGBT community vs. what that might be for Republicans (that we've learned about over the years). It would be hilarious if the numbers were more for the GOP :-)

From the article Politician on Transgender Son: 'We're Proud of Him':

The Republican Rep. — and only member of Congress with a transgender child — took to TV on Nov. 17, during Transgender Awareness Week, in a public show of support for her 28-year-old, born Amanda. She urged other parents of transgender kids to have as much pride in their sons and daughters as she has in the eldest of her four children and stepchildren. “We know Rigo as our child, whether it’s Amanda or now as Rodgrigo, he’s our son and we’re proud of him"

...

Ros-Lehtinen is the first House Republican to support gay marriage and the only Republican on the 112-member Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus. And she’s supported her son throughout his journey, which began when he came out to his parents as a lesbian in high school and then as transgender during college in 2007. “As parents, we wanted Rodrigo to understand that we’re totally fine with it,” the congresswoman explained. “He’s our son, we’re proud of him.”

Now the mom is asking other parents to stand behind their transgender kids, too. “Don’t freak out,” she advised. “Stay calm and don’t be afraid. And love your child because that person is your child whether it’s the person you wanted him or her to be or not. That’s my advice to parents. Never, never reject your child. That’s unconditional love, no matter what.”

A third of Fortune 500 companies now cover transgender health care

Great to hear about progress in mainstream America for transgender issues!

A third of Fortune 500 companies now cover transgender health care

From the article:

The number of Fortune 500 companies willing pay for sex reassignment surgeries and other transgender-related healthcare has gone from zero in 2002 to 169 this year, according to a new report from the Human Rights Campaign.

The report, which ranks corporations on their treatment of gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans employees, also found that more than half of corporations with more than 500 employees that participated in the survey now cover the procedures. That’s 418 firms.

Some of the biggest names in corporate America are among those who have signed up to cover the procedures, at up to $75,000 per employee. Facebook Inc., Visa, Starbucks Corp., CVS Health Corp. and Anheuser-Busch Companies Inc. are just some of the firms that decided this year to begin covering the procedures for their workers for the first time.

“The jump in terms of employers adopting transgender benefits has been the most dramatic of any single aspect of the Corporate Equality Index in its entire history,” said Deena Fidas, the director of the Human Rights Campaign’s Workplace Equality Program, which has been producing the report for more than a decade.

Ratings in the Corporate Equality Index are derived from a look at five major areas, including: recruiting efforts, whether firms have explicit gender identity and sexual orientation anti-discrimination protections, and if they have extended health care and other benefits to same-sex partners.

While the vast majority of Fortune 500 companies now have nondiscrimination policies that explicitly protect employees from being fired for their gender identity or orientation, companies have moved much more slowly when it comes to covering transgender health care.

Possible shopping outfits, and new French Manicure technique.

Well there hasn't been too much excitement lately. The day-to-day demands of life are in the forefront for me right now, keeping my free time less than usual.

I've been getting in one dress up night a week, so here are a few photos. I'm trying to figure out good combo's that I can wear out in public, as a lot of my clothes are summery, or a little too racy.

I need to do a little more shopping for outfits to, well...., to go shopping in! ;-)

Floral print with Empire waist

I really like dresses with an Empire waist. With my bit of spare tire, I think they work great with that to give me the appearance that I have some kind of hips and 'figure.'  

With our typical mildly cool California "winter", I would probably need a light sweater to go with this? Going out I'd wear pantyhose instead of thigh-highs.

Pleated skirt

Here I'm wearing  a really light pink pleated skirt (I love it - it's so pretty!), with just the sweater and a lacy pink bra underneath. Nude stockings. I'd like to find some peep toe flats to go with this. Miss gave me a French Manicure which you can almost make out. 

New nail technique

And here is little old me with *not my best looking facial expression*. I have on a see-through lacy black top and pink bra. 

Miss picked up a new nail technique that she tried out on me. We bought white nail tips from Sally Beauty, and she glued them on just at the tip of my natural nails. Then she clipped them to a nice medium length. She finished me up by applying a coat of glue to the top of each nail, which I dipped in a soft white nail powder, and then covered with out-the-door top coat. The look was really great!

Sorry that I don't have a better picture. What was really nice was they weren't too bad to get off the next morning when I had to return to boy mode. So I hope I get a lot more time in nails, especially when we go out! 

Women's Glasses - I'm "in disguise" :-)

A while back Marian over at Crossing T's and Dotting I's suggested I try women's glasses to obscure my secret identity. Ok... I don't really have a secret identity, just a plain old normal one.

A few weeks ago I decided I needed some more earrings, as the clip on ones just break all too frequently on me and I was running low :-(

I went online shopping at Claire's, which has a descent collection of clip-on earrings, While I was looking I also noticed they carry faux eyeglasses, so I picked up a pair.

I think I got lucky and picked out a good pair! I really like the look of them, and Miss does too. One day I need to get my prescription done in a pair of women's frames. Maybe the next time I go into the optometrist.

Thanks for the idea Marian!

As it turns out, not looking so Halloween appropriate

I was hoping that my first sissy dress would be something that I might be able to wear this Halloween. But when I tried it on, it's really waaaay too short.

It was more of an afterthought than a plan, so I'm not too disappointed.

However, Miss absolutely loved it! In fact she was completely surprised at how much she really enjoyed seeing me in it. So much so that she wants me in that look again this weekend.

She said she wanted to try it on herself, but I'm not sure if that's because she's curious about how it would fit on her, or if she's curious how she would look as a sissy?

I will make sure to remind her that she wanted to try it on this weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing what she looks like in it, but honestly it isn't anywhere close to her style in my opinion.

---

Oh, I had let my fingernails grow out a little bit longer than usual, in the hopes that maybe it would work out to paint them. I've done this several times in the past, but it hasn't worked out. This past weekend we impulse bought a French Manicure pen, and Miss did my nails up really nice! I wish I had thought to take a picture of them, but you can see the white tips in the left-hand picture above.

This was actually one of the very few times my real nails were painted. A couple of times in the past I wore the Kiss brand fake nails which I really enjoyed. But the French Manicure looked really good!

I much more often have my toes painted than my fingernails as I can keep those hidden from the kids during the week with socks and shoes, at least when it's not summer time, so I don't have to take it off after just a couple of days. What has kept me from doing my fingernails every weekend is the amount of time to take it off, and sometimes there are still flecks left even after a lot of effort with polish remover and Emery boards. But the clear polish with the white pen for the tips doesn't have that problem so I'm hoping I can much more often have the French Manicure.

---

On my drive to work this morning I was trying to imagine an outfit for Miss that I think would be in the new style she is moving toward. What came to mind is something like an opaque black or "gothish" style bustier for the top (satin-y), black fishnet pantyhose stockings with her Doc Martens, and a black satin skirt or form fitting shorts. 

We might need to do some clothes shopping this weekend! Hmmm, maybe this is chance to go out dressed? I would need to think about where to go shopping that I'd feel comfortable.

---

On last note, also last weekend we were doing our usual shopping errands. Miss had picked out a pink shade of lipstick that she wanted me to start wearing while we're out (when in boy mode). She said she thought it would look fine if I just put it on really lightly.

I gave it a shot, but the lighting in the bathroom was such that it didn't look like I had lipstick on. When we were outside it was very obvious that I was wearing it.  I tried to blot a little off before we arrived at our first stop, but it apparently was still noticeable.

Miss said she would be ok if I took it off, but I decided not to. People definitely noticed, and Miss told me one lady looked at me in disgust. Right on! :-)

Halloween

I've noticed Halloween posts have been starting to happen.

We had picked out a pink sissy dress on eBay, which I figured I'd only be wearing in private around the house with Miss.

It arrived yesterday!

Here is a picture of it ->

In reading some of the blog posts I follow over the last day or so, people are mulling over if they will be dressing up for Halloween.

Stana on her Femulate blog was thinking over if she was going to Femualte for work, which she had last done in 2000 and 2003.

I'd say go for it, but her coworkers might just figure her out and that might not be what she's after.

Her post got me thinking... I have this new way-over-the-top sissy dress..... Is this the time to dress up all 'sissy' in public?

We don't have any plans for that night, so hmmmm.....

Just me...

Things are quiet at present on the interesting stuff-to-share front, so I thought I'd post a couple of pictures of me trying on different outfits.


 

I absolutely love the black mesh socks in the picture to the left.

The dress in the other photo I obviously couldn't wear out casually, but it's fun and I really like it!

Best wishes everyone!

jen

New identity - "Stripes?"

I mentioned in the last post that Miss had shared the "Stripes" part of our concert experience with her parents.

She had shown them a picture she took of me in my so called "80s" outfit (taken by Miss from behind.)

She actually told them the pants were women's...but "hedged" a little with them by saying it was ok because they looked unisex :-)

And she told her parents about the group of ladies we met thinking I was gay, and pinup girl nicknaming me "Stripes" because of the blouse I was wearing. Her mom just said that I was a "good sport" to that.

Miss visited her BFF from High School yesterday, and she told me she shared the same basic story with her girlfriend. And that I "gay'd it up" real nice by playing the part.

Miss said she showed her a picture with me wearing the purse. I guess her BFF just laughed!! And her BFF seems pretty conservative, so I wonder what she is really thinking about me. Oh, and the rest of her family too, as I know Miss was probably getting a nice kick out of sharing me that way with all of them.

The concert

We went to a concert this past Saturday. A bunch of 70s/80s bands including Joan Jett. Some were good, some not so good, but what do you expect after 35 years or more after the prime of their careers?

But it really was a very good time, and we had great seats.

 


So I mentioned in a prior post Miss was shooting for an edgier look for herself, not feminine girly, but feminine, well, butch-like for lack of a better term. And we had found a pink ladies top and some other women's clothes for myself. Everything I was wearing was women's clothes - a real thrill for me, even if I wasn't going en-femme. Basically we were flipping our sexual identities for the night!

My outfit, yes, I was definitely going to come off as a gay man :-D Miss of course was dying of happiness at that fact, and how nervous, uncomfortable, insecure, and awkward I was feeling.

A few weeks ago we had each bought a purse (my first purse). I had assumed that it was for a future outing en-femme, but as we were getting ready to leave for the show, she asked about me wearing it. I was surprised when she asked and I probably stammered, embarrassed when I told her I didn't realize it was for tonight. Anyway, I got over my apprehension and we were set to go!

Here I am (well, most of me) ------>







Walking from the parking lot to the venue I didn't catch too many looks our way. Getting in the gate was fun - I had to open my purse so it could be searched (another first!)

Then we had the metal detector wand search. Miss was looking at me while I went through that, and she said the guy wanding me (while I was facing away from him) made "one of those looks" - like I was flaming gay! Well to his credit I'm probably a little bi ;-)

Other than that, we got no detectable notice from employees.

We did meet a fun and interesting group of ladies while outside. Miss was noticing one that was dressed up in a style similar to that of pin-up-girls from the 40s. That's another look she'd like to try out. We were next to them and I pretty much think my 'gayness' was an ice-breaker for them to start up a conversation with us. They were having a REALLY good time - lots of laughing and joking.

When we were all talking a couple of them cozied up to me and were very flirty with me. I guess it's true that gay men get all the attention from the girls? I was not expecting anything like that, let me tell you! Miss said some women like to be flirty with gay men as they can have fun with it but don't have to worry about it going anywhere :-)

Pin-up girl nicknamed me "stripes" as my shirt was pink with white stripes. It was all fun and good, and we bumped into them a couple of more times during the show in the food and restroom areas.

Another cherry on top to this was that I found out via text message from Miss's mom the next day, that Miss had shared the "stripes" part of the trip with her parents. She showed them a picture of me in my so called "80s" outfit from behind, and told them the pants were women's...but they actually looked unisex. And she told her parents about the girls thinking I was gay. Her mom just said that I was a "good sport". Hmmmm, I think Miss is prepping her parents for when I come out one day? Could be confusing to them whenever that happens - based on this they might think I'm a T-girl that likes boys, when I'm a T-girl that likes girls.

We had some interesting characters sitting next to us. On one side was a married couple. The husband was American, I'd say in his late 50s. His wife was from Mexico, I'd say in her early 20s, and spoke no English. To the right was a single guy. He pretty much ignored us the whole time, and when Miss went to use the ladies room leaving me alone, he just glared at me like I was some kind of freak. That really didn't bother me, in fact I kind of drunk his scowling all in and owned it. Oh, there were some girls in the row behind us that were nice and we chatted briefly with them.

Over all, I definitely tried to go all in with my mannerisms and presentation to match my "look". Miss wanted to let the single guy next to us know she was taken by us kissing - but hey that blew my cover! And she also was a bit miffed that I wasn't copping feels from her, but I was trying to go with my look!

Off to a concert this weekend - tiny-tiny bit of gender fun

Miss and I are lucky to have great seats to a concert this weekend.

She has been cooking up a new look for herself for when we go out.

The best way I can describe it is that it has a a bit "rough girl" feel to it. There is a hint of tomboy, pushing a slight bit into the "butch" stereotype look (if there is one). But that's only going to apply to her outfit. Her hair will still be the wonderful curly/wavy completely feminine style, and she said she's going with pink nail polish.

The outfit itself that I think she's planning on wearing, consists of a moss-green top that is webbed in  kind of a crochet mesh style (think of a mesh type beach cover-up, see-through), over the same color top. The pants are tan, and while they are women's, they look more like Dockers or Dickies. Like guy casual work pants. The kicker to this will be her Doc Marten shoes. For the purse it's more of a tote bag type of thing.

I wish I had pictures to share of her outfit (will have those after the show), but here is a picture of a similar purse. Maybe it's more of a satchel-like purse? It's very flat, not bulky at all. I actually think this picture is of the one we bought for me (my first purse!)

I feel very lucky as far as my outfit is concerned. It's 100% women's clothes from head to toe! A pink top, with black vinyl-like textured pants. The shoes are casual black, with a very slight heel. I'll be wearing plumb colored lace socks.

We took a picture of me dressed up (sorry the lighting is poor).

Me!

So while I'm not going as jen, I think we may come off a little like a gay man and woman, or a feminine man and slightly masculine woman based on what we're wearing - which would be pretty fun. And hopefully we'll be promoting acceptance of gender diversity in the process!

Memory Lane: How I moved past wearing just panties and pantyhose to actual clothes

This post was inspired by memory lane, thanks to a post about the movie The Crying Game made by Cyrsti over at Cyrsti's Transgender Condo. I posted a version of this post there, but wanted to add a little more to it here.

I think I caught this movie a year or so after it came out, when it hit HBO or Showtime.

That post made me wonder where my mind was as far as my transgender evolution was concerned, and what my own feelings about trans people were at the time. I certainly didn't know any that I was aware of.

So as far as the movie goes and what I thought about it, and my reaction to it... I think I was just blown away that it was actually a guy and not a girl. That was probably my first "real" transgender experience (yeah lame, just a movie). At that time that was probably the most edgy movie I had ever seen (discounting all the VHS porn which was just plain vanilla stuff).

At the time I was married with 2 young kids. I know that during this time I was wearing pantyhose every now and then, and mostly in a sexual context, but I think that was the extent of my girlyness back then. I was in my mid 20s.

Subconsciously I think was exploring whether my wife was going to accept it, and if so how far or how much.

Thinking back now, she accepted it, but barely. She wasn't *really* into it or very encouraging. I think that alone kept me in a holding pattern for about 15 years. I just repressed moving any farther than occasional wearing of pantyhose/stockings and panties - which might have been a compulsion I couldn't control. I think I was hoping my wife would get turned on by it, and that would have been my sign that she was on-board, and that I could move forward with it.

Never happened, but luckily we split up, and I reconnected with my high school crush. With her I am SO lucky!

I eventually got the courage to tell my girlfriend I wore panties and pantyhose. She didn't react badly when I first broke the news. I did it at her work to avoid a serious blow up (if it were to happen that way which it didn't).

Well she got right on board. TOTALLY!

It seemed like no time went by before she had me try on some of her clothes and panties (full dress up time), which I had never worn anything other than lingerie before. It was incredible to do that for the first time, and with someone I was in a relationship with to boot! OMG paydirt!

The result of this was that my girlfriend opened me up to a dream I had never, ever consciously considered! "Not in a million years" as they say :-) If it weren't for her not just accepting, but encouraging and facilitating me, I'd still be where I was. And not happy at all.

Oh, and she bought me my first dress back then, a cute black and white dress. We bought thigh high stockings and she started taking pictures of me dressed up. It was such an awesome time for me, really it was an awakening of who I really should be that happened thanks to her.

Now all I can dream of are the times I get to be a girl. What a flip!

Thank you sweetheart, I love you!

Weekend fun - time to touch up those brands! - OUCH!!!

OK I've been a little remiss in posting pictures, so here are a couple from the weekend.

My brands had faded over the last few months, so this past weekend Miss took a little time to 'freshen' them up :-D

When I think of these brands I feel so loved, close, and connected to her. And she just loves having someone that she can burn, carve, and inflict physical pain on. Let's just say it really gets her motor running.

To be clear, I do not like pain. At all. This and other things she does to me really really do hurt.

But I love being able to take what she gives to me. What more could I do to demonstrate the extent of my love and devotion than to suffer her whims, at the end of her implements of pain and torture? In the aftermath of our playtime, I feel like I've served her well as a source of pleasure. And that's what we all want for our partners, for them to enjoy their relationship with us in as many ways as they can.

We started out branding with incense. And I think for a brief time she would heat the tip of some metal object.

But after reading up on the subject we ended up going to Radio Shack and picked up a $20 battery powered soldering iron. Works great!

And here are the results. The two hearts brand is just above my bikini area. You can see I got a little sun this past weekend. It was HOT!

Two hearts together

The other brand is her initial, which is in an easy to guess location :-) I love the angle of the picture, it makes me look like 'babies got back', and an actual figure- LOL!

Her initial - this one hurts the most!

Prior to getting into branding she would carve her initial here. That hurts a lot too! One day I'd like to get a heart or some other kind of tattoo as a kind of frame around that area, and she can brand or carve her initial inside it.

The Trans-Everything CEO

The Trans-Everything CEO

I had never heard of her before, which is amazing how that could be!

From the article:

... the highest-paid female CEO in America is not nearly as well known. She is Martine Rothblatt, the 59-year-old founder of United Therapeutics—a publicly traded, Silver Spring, Maryland–based pharmaceutical company—who made a previous fortune as the founder of Sirius Radio, a field she entered as an attorney specializing in the law of space. But what’s really extraordinary about Rothblatt’s ascent is not that she has leaned in, or out, or had any particular thoughts about having it all. What sets Rothblatt apart from the other women on the list is that she—who earned $38 million last year—was born male.

My second public outing en-femme - shopping in Santa Monica! (part 2)

Let's see, I left off  in the first post with our LGBT fan giving us a shout-out as we walked to the shoe store in the mall.

I felt a little relief that we were walking in opposite directions, and that there wasn't any follow up shouting :-) While it is an outside shopping mall, it is still a shopping mall!

After that completely unexpected excitement, my girlfriend and I just looked at each other, smiled, and kept walking to our destination. I wanted to take her picture in front of the store we went to because it had a cool entrance, but she declined. Maybe that was my way of stalling a few minutes before entering?

My nervousness jumped up a bit as we walked in. I looked around the store to see what type of people were working and shopping there. I didn't see anyone (at least on the surface) to be intimidated by. I was mostly looking for rough & tough manly men that might be prone to make a scene if they were to read me as a transgendered person.

So now we're in the store, which I should mention had plenty of full length mirrors. At first I thought GOOD! I can check myself out in the mirror to see if I need to adjust anything. I do that, half-trying not to be noticed, but then I think it's not unusual for women to take advantage of mirrors and reflective glass all the time to check their appearance, so I adjust my hair a little bit, as nonchalantly as I could.

Meanwhile Miss is looking at the shoes and boots on display trying to see what she'd like to try on. I stay close to her most of the time, but that seemed awkward to do for too long, so I occasionally walk away from her checking out the various displays. There are two or three other groups of people shopping at the same time, someone paying at the counter, etc.

I'm pretty sure that the "HEY GIRL!" shout-out just before had already popped my already maxed out stress bubble (meaning what I had hoped wouldn't happen already had), so I was already softened up some for whatever was still to come. Or at least that's what I told myself as we entered the store :-)

None of the patrons seem to really notice me, although now I'm thinking the plentiful full length mirrors are not a great thing after all, as it makes it harder for me to keep my face oriented away from anyone that might be wanting a longer look at me. Yes, I was at the height of my paranoia for this day.

Even so, all this time I'm talking with Miss about what she's looking at, what she likes or doesn't like and why, so I can help look for other styles she might be interested in. This was actually really fun, but my nervousness did take a little away from me *fully* enjoying it stress-free.

At some point a salesman approaches us. This was really the first interaction I was planning/expecting to have with a stranger while on this girl mode adventure. And obviously that was inevitable given this was as shopping trip intended to result in a purchase. Mentally, I had prepared myself during the drive to "ride it out", however it went.

He speaks to both of us, doing his salesman spiel, and I honestly don't think he batted an eye at me! I made myself talk with both of them as he was helping us. If I was out there, I wasn't going to short change myself on any aspect of the experience.

He talked to us about the differences between the different lines and styles and quality. Miss and I both asked him some questions and he was just great. After speaking with him for a while, both Miss and I figure he's also in the LGBT club, under "G" :-) I don't think I could have been any luckier in that regard!

Miss lands on a style she likes, he measures her shoe size, and goes back to bring her a couple of different sizes to try on. Viola! We have a winner!

We talk a bit more with our salesman as we walk to the counter to pay...... I look on the counter to see if they have an ATM swipe and PIN pad..... Don't see one, maybe they pull it out..... He rings it up.... I don't have a purse so Miss has the ATM and Visa cards in her purse..... I ask her to get out the ATM card and I hand it to him... He swipes it behind the counter and I'm thinking oh shit!!! My guy name is on the card, and will he hand me a PIN pad or not?.... Nope! He prints the receipt and presents it to me to sign.... Surely he noticed my guy name!... Next he's going to ask for my ID for sure, as the shoes were not cheap.... I sign it.... I'm still nervous as hell, waiting for the "other shoe to drop", to have to present my ID........ And.......WHEEEWWWW! He hands the card back to me and asks what to do with our copy of the receipt!

We thank him and head back out to the mall.

Mission accomplished!

OK, I think there is just one more post coming on this trip. Our walk to the car to stash the shoes in the trunk, and our walk to the beach.

This was such an incredible day! Mind-blowingly great!

My second public outing en-femme - shopping in Santa Monica! (part 1)

One of my ideas for my next trip out in public was to go to the beach. Walk along the boardwalk, and on down to the pier. Maybe sit on the beach - I have a bathing suit that I think would let me pull that off just fine (with a cover-up for the walk to and from the car).  I wasn't sure if I would feel better about blending in wearing a dress or skirt, or shorts.

But in my mind that trip might have been similar to my first, with no interaction with other people. So to add that element, I thought maybe we could stop at one of those greasy spoon order-and-pickup-from-the-counter type places, where you grab your tray and sit at one of those round cement picnic tables to eat.

But then there is this concert that we are going to in a few weeks. My girlfriend has mentioned in the past that she wants to have an edgier look. I think the concert coming up might have added some motivation for her to start to shop for that look. There is a particular brand and style of shoe that has been in the back of her mind that has been making it to the front more and more.

So I say to her, let's go check out those shoes that you've been wanting. This retailer has very few brick and mortar retail stores, but luckily one of them is in Santa Monica, about 90 minutes away in light traffic. It's in an outside shopping mall called the 3rd Street Promenade. What's great is that it's just three blocks from the beach, and you can see the Santa Monica pier off in the not to far distance with its roller coaster and I think merry-go-round. I don't know what else is on the pier these days as I haven't been there in over 15 years.

As I  mentioned in my last post, I have just started using an epilator on my legs, chest, etc. About six days prior to this trip, and my legs had never been so smooth! Really a wonderful sexy feeling! My girlfriend noticed too! So I was really hoping to wear a skirt or dress.

After we had done all our getting ready things with showers, hair and makeup, I set out all my girl clothes and we figured out what would be good to go out in for this trip. It ended up being a pink summer dress! I really loved it, but at the same time I'm worried about if there is a breeze if my privates might be too noticeable, so I'm wondering if shorts would be better. But then I think, if I get aroused, for sure things will be noticed. With a skirt or dress at least it's more or less continually flowing, so it should provide appropriate modesty :-)

The dress it is then (below is a picture of me after we got back home)!

Pink dress

Off we go on our drive to shop!

We arrive uneventfully and park in a parking structure that is close the the store we are looking for.

This is the moment of truth for me, getting out of the car and entering the public eye. It's a beautiful day, mild temperature and a perfect breeze. And yes, I'm worried about what affect the wonderful breeze might have under my dress!

We exit the structure into an alley that we have to walk down about 3/4ths of a block before we get to the mall entrance. There are a few cars that drive past us as we walk, and I'm feeling fairly confident that I'm going to pass. I have my sunglasses on which I feel help a lot with that.

Out of the blue my girlfriend reaches out and takes my hand! My heart jumps up in my chest a bit with both incredible excitement and a heavy dose of anxiety. The anxiety fades just a bit as I adjust (or more likely accept, then REALLY enjoy) this surprise. Once I do, I think I ended up with a really big happy smile on my face :-D

With that, my girlfriend totally just took us into the category of we're "at least a gay couple"! I was not expecting anything like this! I smile big and large at her and tell her I love her, and I can't believe that we are out together as girlfriends! I'm really just exploding with excitement about not only being out as a girl, but with her as her girlfriend too!

We continue walking down the alley, and a family with two or three small kids is walking towards us. I'm just trying to keep that smile on my face as if everything is totally normal, "we're good", trying to come off as if we're all casual and comfortable, as two girlfriends holding hands on their way to do a little shoping at the mall.

Well the mother just looks at us with a mean stare as we start to pass each other. Miss noticed it as it happened, but she had to remind me of this later as when it was happening I was so excited and bubbly emotionally that the ladies stare was lost to me in the moment.

We reach the end of the alley, and there are a lot of people walking all around the sidewalk as we approach the mall entrance. I make occasional eye contact with people, but everything is just fine, no one seems to notice me or even seem interested in a couple of apparently gay women walking by

Success beyond any expectations I could have had!

We decide we need to use the restroom, and look to a posted map of the mall for locations. Turns out we had to go back to the parking garage :-( I'm sure the many restaurants had them, but assumed we'd have to be a customer to use them.

So we go back to the parking structure. As we get close to the restroom I think "Cool! I can go in the ladies room!" I start to follow Miss in, and I see another lady at the sink cleaning up, and notice that there is only one stall. So rather than stand in the restroom with that lady, and wait for Miss to use the stall, I step back outside to wait.

Of course at this time a couple of groups of people walk by, and I'm just standing there pretending to read what's on the wall (which wasn't much), and in general I just stood there and tried to look pretty. It felt so uncomfortable and awkward. I felt like I was on display, and I was so stressed thinking that in close quarters they surely would read me. And they were there for almost the whole time Miss was in the restroom, 3 or 4 minutes probably. I was so relieved when she finally came out, and we then started our walk back to the mall. None of them said anything, but probably they noticed. I'll take that!

The most exciting thing happened next, by way of a quick shout out from what I'm pretty sure was one of our fellow LGBT brethren, as Miss and I walked through the mall. He looked right at me, waved large, and yelled quite loudly - "HEY GIRL!!!"

I was again caught way off guard by this, and all I could do was raise my free hand, and for whatever reason I did a little princess wave with it, and in a fairly normal volume (and hopefully female voice), managed to say "Hi!" back to him.

I couldn't have just ignored or blown that shout out with no response, who knows, he might have continued to press me to acknowledge him. And I'm still not sure if he was recognizing us as a gay couple, or me as TG, or both! But Miss and I both feel there was no malice intended, just that he was happy to connect in public with others in the LGBT community. After all, this is Santa Monica, and I'm sure there are many in our community that live there.

I also want to say that my girlfriend got a huge kick out of being in public together as who we are. She loved that people noticed us as a couple. I did too!

The entire experience of this day I just can't find enough ways to describe how incredible it was to me. I received a Make-A-Wish. I have to give so many thanks to my wonderful girlfriend. She is beyond supportive. She helps me move forward, so much faster then if I were on my own.

There is more to this day that I'll share soon.

Take care everyone!

jen

Epilating! - OMG YES!

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't had much to post lately, life got a bit hectic and opportunities to be jen were in short supply, at least until just this past Friday - I'll be posting about my second trip out in public here real soon!

But first, I need to thank Mandy over at her blog for turning me onto epilating!

I'm sure I'm not alone, but I have to shave my legs every day. Too much stubble too fast! By the end of the day I feel like the stubble is making good progress growing back. And forget about waking up the next morning - eecchhh!

Laser and electrolysis are not in the cards right now, and this (or waxing) seemed like the next best thing. So I gave it a try, starting about 10 days ago.

WOW! I'm hooked!

Stating out was tough for sure, but after doing my legs, chest, and pelvic area several times over about 5 days, I had the smoothest feeling legs, chest, (etc. :-P ) that I've ever had!!!!

It is so so worth it!

I just hope I can keep it up with enough frequency during the week (not much free time for me during the work week).

THANKS Mandy!

Text message from Miss's girlfriend

Miss shared a text message her friend (from prior posts) sent to her a few days ago.

"Are you going to jennifers oops I mean [johns] this week?"

I was very happily embarrassed by that, and what it may mean down the road.

She was probably just checking to see if my girlfriend was likely to stop by her place for a visit this week. My girlfriend often hangs out with her friend when things don't work out for her to stay with me.

But what that text tells me is that my girlfriend pretty much got a green light from her friend that she's ok with calling me Jennifer.

Only time will tell how much Miss will leverage and expand on this in future visits.

I honestly can't wait!

Eeewwwww - Stubbly!!

We had another visit from my girlfriend's best friend, and her same two kids (from my last post).

They still drive out our way for a few Dr. appointments that they've kept since they moved away.

I was looking forward to the visit, with anxiety (nice oxymoron!), as:
    1.) My girlfriend ("Miss") would at a minimum continue to use my girl name to embarrass me.
    2.) She very possibly would "up the ante" and find another way to humiliate me with her friends and kids.
    3.) Her friend is a very direct and to the point person, who isn't concerned about other's feelings when she wants to know or say something (but of course  she would never say anything *truly* hurtful.) So I figured there was a chance that her friend might actually "confront" me verbally about my shaved legs, or my general submission and whimpy-ness to my girlfriend, etc.
    4.) Her friend's son has already shown that he will "pile on" the humiliation once my girlfriend opens that door.
    5.) Maybe her daughter would pile on too. I just don't know her well, but if she takes after her mom, and had the confidence due to my girlfriend and her brother going at it with me, that maybe she would be confident enough to chime in.

I get home and they are all sitting in the backyard talking. I join them for a few minutes, then go inside to change into shorts and a t-shirt.

I again feel like her friend takes a gander at my shaved legs, and I'm feeling the apprehension that she's going to make a comment, but she never did.

My girlfriend does indeed go with calling me Jennifer, and I may be mistaken but I think she might have asked me if there was "anything wrong with that" or "does that embarrass you?" I would have mumbled "no" very meekly.

We sit down to eat dinner, and my knee brushes against my girlfriend's leg. I think she put her hand on my knee to feel for sure, and then she blurts out "Eeewwww, STUBBLY!"

I pretty much died at that point. I think I actually tried to deny it, but would have just said "no" again in that meek, pussy-whipped way.

After dinner I was rinsing off plates, and her girlfriend offered to help. Miss said, "No, that's what he's for, I'm giving him my commands." I think her friend was very mildly surprised by that response :-)

Miss and her friend haven't had a chance to visit one-on-one since these two visits. When they do I can't wait to hear if any of this comes up.

Jennifer!!! The humiliation continues...

I've written about a couple of weekends where the son of my girlfriends best friend from high school has stayed over to be able to visit his old friends (since they had moved about 60-70 miles away).

In those previous visits Miss got pretty comfortable calling me Jennifer in front of him, and verbally humiliating me in various ways, making it clear to him in doing so that she's the "Boss" and I'm the wimpy "pussy whipped" submissive slave.

On my way home from work Friday afternoon (an almost 3 hour commute thanks to someone threatening to jump off a freeway overpass), my girlfriend sent me a text message that her friend had stopped in with her son and one of her daughters, and that she had invited them to stay for dinner.

So I let her know my ETA, and eventually I arrived home.

I walk in the door, and before I can even say hello to anyone Miss yells out at the top of her lungs something along the lines of - "HI JENNIFER! HOW WAS YOUR DAY JENNIFER? JEN-JEN-JEN-JEN-JENNIFER!!!!!"

Leave it to say that I am totally shocked, embarrassed and speechless. Her friend and kids are looking at me with ear-to-ear, nearly-laughing out loud smiles, really enjoying her humiliation of me this way. I think her friend couldn't hold back the laughter, and she let out a few of those choked back laughs, the ones that come from the chest that you just can't hold back.

So I just try to move on and ignore what just happened. I think Miss asked me some kind of rhetorical question just to force me to react and speak and become even more embarrassed.

I tell her I love her, say hello to everyone else in the most meek, I-gotta-get-outta-here fashion, tell everyone I'll be right back out, and then head to the bedroom to change into some shorts.

In comfortable clothes now, I walk back into the living room where her friend and her kids are. My girlfriend is in the kitchen cooking at this point.

While unfortunately I'm not very good at starting or carrying casual conversation, I know that I need to be social so I stop in the living room to chat.

Almost the first thing I notice is her girlfriend is checking out my shaved legs! More embarrassment as I don't know if she's going to say anything (she didn't). Her friend's son had noticed them on his prior visits, and I know that the subject had come up when Miss had visited at her friend's house. So basically her entire family knew this, and I'm sure that they had a great laugh about it.

Miss continued to call me Jennifer all night long, so I guess that's how she will address me in this company. That will keep me in my place for sure :-)

My first public outing en-femme!

My desire to go out in public en-femme was finally satisfied Saturday, and boy it was awesome!

I had first thought that a trip to a local beach would be a good starter, walking the boardwalk and maybe the pier too. 

I had planned to wear some type of skirt or dress, white sandals, a wig with a hat, and sunglasses which would do a lot to hide my face, which is my top insecurity about being detected.

My girlfriend was concerned that "locals" might "kick my ass" if any were to notice me. So as an alternative I thought what about Santa Monica / Venice beach? There is a much more diverse crowd there, and I thought let's check that out. Optimistically I would think there is a decent chance that other TGs would feel comfortable there, based on what I remember of the "scene" in years past from visiting my Grandmother (even though that must have been over 15 years ago). I just remember all kinds of different types of people on the boardwalk letting it all hang out. From what a remember I feel that even if people were to notice me I'd be at the low end of the spectrum of their interest due to all the other interesting people and goings on.

Unfortunately the weather Saturday ended up being unseasonably cool and cloudy. There probably wouldn't be many people there (which would not be as good for blending in), and maybe sunglasses and a hat wouldn't be so appropriate for the weather.

Not wanting to give up on a rare opportunity for this first time experience, we had an errand to run to get a cracked cell phone screen repaired that we could take care of. At this point I'm just looking for any excuse to go out as a girl :-)

So I made my second attempt at gluing on my breast forms. Depending on if this worked or not would dictate what type of outfits I could wear. I was REALLY hoping this would work. My first attempt the prior week was a failure. I was hoping that the glue would work as I had read, that I would not need to wear a bra to hold them up. But the glue didn't hold on that first try. I did some more searching for suggestions and read that I needed to let the glue dry for 5 minutes or so before applying the forms to my chest. I think that was the key, as this time IT WORKED!

I proceeded to do my makeup, trying a new technique for putting on foundation I came across that seemed to work a lot better than how I had been doing it before. Nice!

I had put out all my clothes in piles on the bed to make it easier to pick out and try on something to wear.  I tried a couple of things on, but my girlfriend suggested I try on a pink strapless dress with a tube-top like material on the top. 

I thought that it was way to bright for me to wear out, and that it seemed to "young" looking for me. But she reassured me that it was summer and totally ok to wear something bright and pink, so I went with it.

We didn't get a full length picture of me in the dress, but I did find one online. (I didn't wear it with a belt.)

I make a call to the repair place and they say it will take an hour to finish. They are about 20-30 minutes away, so that means we will have some time to kill while we wait. 

Getting into the car was quite something - the dress was so short! Ohhh sexy! If anyone saw me getting into the car they probably got a peek at my pink panties! And sitting in the car the dress was maybe just 2 or 3 inches below my crotch. That was such a thrill! I was hoping that people in tall vehicles would be looking down to check me out as we were driving :-) 

We get to the repair place and my girlfriend takes the phone in while I wait in the car. Drop off completed, we drive off.

Now I'm thinking what can we do where I'll have a reason to get out of the car, in a good & safe situation? 

The car needs gas and washing, so I drive around looking for a gas station with a self-service drive-through car wash. Amazing that we didn't find one! There were full service ones but I wasn't comfortable trying that just yet.

We ended up stopping for gas anyway. Getting out of the car I appreciated feeling the cool breeze up and around my legs. OMG so stimulating!!!!

I'm really enjoying being outside. I'm looking around and just beaming with joy! I lean over to talk to my girlfriend completely aware that if anyone checks me out they are probably getting a good peek up my dress. Either me or her point out that possibility. I turn back to the pump and "accidentally" drop my keys. I bend over to pick them up (the car door is open so she would get a good look), but she isn't looking so she didn't notice :-(

At this point I'm thinking, should I go into the little gas station mini-mart and buy something? There isn't anyone else around at the moment so it would just be the clerk. I'd keep my sunglasses on and even if the clerk noticed it would be a quick in and out. Unfortunately I was too nervous and didn't go through with it. If my girlfriend had thought of it I would probably had the courage to do it. That's ok - this was my first time out. I need to build confidence to put myself out there more and that will happen with time.

Here is what I looked like in the car. You can see just a bit of the dress.

Oooh, and that night I got to wear a very sexy clingy black negligee without a bra! That has been on my wish-list ever since it occurred to me that it might be possible to glue those boobies on!

It was just an amazing amazing day! And it was so cool to be able to be with my girlfriend doing this!

Your bra straps are showing

For those in the US, I hope you all had a great 4th of July!

We had a great day, smoking ribs, swimming, and so on. I'll write a post with more about that soon.

But to start of our day, we needed to pickup a few things first, so of course I would be wearing a bra under my boy shirt for the trip. This is pretty much standard with Miss, that I'll be wearing a bra when we're out. She's told me several times that she likes how apprehensive and self-conscious I am when there is a chance that someone will notice I am a boy in a bra.

I do try to keep my body constantly oriented to minimize the chance of that, but it's a constant thing when we're in public to have to worry about. And let's face it, in a store with probably 100 or so shopper's in it, some are going to see.

So before we left I asked Miss if my straps were very noticeable. I do this to give her the final say as to how I look going out.

I turned so she could see and she smiled wide & happy and said "Yes they do show! Are you worried?" She answered her own question of course - "TOO BAD!!!!"

Here is what I looked like from the back:

At our first stop it didn't seem that anyone noticed, except I think standing in the checkout line the lady in front of us probably noticed while I had my back to her as I was putting stuff on the checkout conveyor belt.

And at our next one I caught a lady checking me/them out, looking not very sure what to make of it.

Random: We are not alone?

Working in Hollywood everything "off the strip" is a target for graffiti.

Walking back from lunch today I noticed this bit of graffiti on some kind of utility box.

The 'artist' must have been inspired by the heart shape sticker that had been painted over by city or utility maintenance crews to cover up prior graffiti.

I wonder if she or he is one of us dads in panties, or maybe a fan of dads in panties?

Whatever the case it was really cool to see this today :-)

Just been in a nice routine lately

Nothing too exciting to share lately. Miss and I have been having nice relaxing evenings.

With some exceptions I've been dressing casual and comfortable when I get home from work.

I have made a couple of purchases recently. For years I have "augmented" my chest with home-made boobies. I don't remember if Miss came up with the idea or if I did, but we've been making my boobs with a couple of pairs of nude knee-high stockings filled with rice.

It has worked really well, and I have been able to get good shape out of them. When you tie off the ends of the stockings you basically get little raisin-like nipples! And you would think that perspiration would be a real problem for the rice, but it never has been.

So I finally decided to try real breast-forms. Wow what a difference! The feel so much more real! Miss went a little crazy with them. She REALLY likes how I look with them - Sweet!  :-P

Reading the feedback on the site from others that purchased them, I learned that there is medical glue that you can use to glue them on. That immediately got my imagination going.

With fake boobs you pretty much need some type of bra for support. But from one of the comments I read, one person said that the glue was so good that they stayed attached for 3 days, including showers and a lot of heat (and sweat I assume).

So the fantasizing kicked in big-time in my head. If that really is the case then I could have a ton more wardrobe options available!!! Being in an area where summer temps are usually around 90 degrees with weeks in the triple digits, the thought of being able to wear sundresses, camisoles, tank tops, and even tube tops really got me excited!

Oh I sooooo need to buy a tube top if this works out!!!

I ordered the glue and remover from Amazon. But what arrived was 2 of the remover. I chalked that up to a packing mistake, and I ordered just the glue from a different Amazon vendor.

Guess what? I got just the remover again! So at this point I think that somehow Amazon is messed up, probably they have the same part number associated to the separate product descriptions. Anyway, I find the glue from a medical supply vendor online, order it, and it just got here Saturday!

I'm hoping that the 4th of July will give me a chance to try that glue, and wear some clothes that would look much better without a bra - I am so excited! I can't wait!!!

Oh, and I think I need a new bathing suit if this works out. Yummy!

Grocery store produce section

Not much to update, but over the weekend I was at the grocery store and I guess I provided a little shock and surprise to fellow shopper.

Most often when I'm shopping alone I wear blue jeans. I do that to avoid drawing attention to my legs, which I've kept shaved for at least the last 5 years.

I've noticed enough other "guys" with shaved legs that I don't feel like it's the most "shocking" thing to come across. But I do live in a very conservative area, so it's probably more likely I'll run into some dinosaur or another while shopping locally.

Anyway, this trip I decided that my legs were tan enough, and my shorts were long enough to not draw any attention.

So I was pushing my cart around, picking out some fruit and vegetables. At one point I looked up and noticed a lady looking at me.

I noticed her as my head raised from looking over some oranges. It looked like she was also looking down as my head was coming up, and she too was in the process of lifting her head (just as I noticed her.) A part of me thought it was a coincidence that we did so at the same time. I made eye contact briefly so as not appear to ignore her, and then looked back to the fruit fairly quickly.

I'm very paranoid about being noticed in any feminine way, and of course I was thinking that she very well may have noticed my legs!

So I wait a few seconds and look back up at her in my best nonchalant manner. Her eyes met mine again and it was clear that she had continued to stare at my smoothly shaven legs.

The worst part of this was the look on her face. She had the meanest scowl on her face. It was like "Oooh you disgusting thing! A man that shaves his legs!!!???"

Well, it sucked in the moment, but I was over it as soon as I moved on away from her. What an unhappy lady she must be to need to feel such emotions about shaved legs!

Glad to be used as a source of entertainment

Miss shared with me a conversation she had at her friends house. This is her friend who's 20 something year old son had been over a few times recently, to be able to visit his friends.

This was bound to happen I suppose :-)

From what I recall her saying to me, it went something like this...

It started off with the son making some comment about Miss being "The Boss" in the relationship. I think Miss probably confirmed that sentiment, and her friend (or maybe it was her son) said that her friend was also "The Boss" of her family. There may have also been a comment from her friend that "We know who wears the pants in your relationship."

At some point Miss also shared that she loved to embarrass me in front of her son by calling me jen/jennifer/jen-jen,slave-boi, and so on. Her son added that the look of shame on my face is quite pronounced when she embarrasses me this way.

Her telling me about that conversation led to me having a dream that night. I rarely remember dreams, but this one was the first of it's kind, as far as I can remember.

Miss, myself, her friend and family were over at the house. It started with all of us standing in the living room. Miss tells me to "go put something on that will surprise everybody."

In the dream I felt nervous as she was outing me, obviously humiliating me, and probably testing my obedience.

So I go back in the bedroom and pick out the type of outfit that I know Miss wants me in. I know that she wants me to go all out with the most humiliating gurly-sissy outfit I can put together.

I head to the bedroom and pick out a pink dress with black hearts, white thigh-high stockings, pink lace-top ankle socks, and black Mary Jane heels.

Here is a picture of the dress, and one of the stockings and heels.

Stockings/heels

Pink dress w/hearts

Next I'm back in the living room where everyone is. I feel the shame and humiliation and I know I am blushing more than I ever had in my life.

Her friend is looking at me, full-on checking me out from head to toe in disbelief. As she did so, a very spontaneous laugh came out of her mouth. When she finished taking it all in, she ended up with a humongous "LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE!" smile on her face that said all about what she's thinking. Her reaction -> "OMG" I can't believe what I'm seeing!!! I can't believe he's dressed like this.

Her son says something like "Wow that's a crazy outfit! I can't believe you're wearing that!"

And one of her daughters said "OMG" in shock and surprise.

Her friend finally regains enough composure to be able to talk again, takes a second look, and says "Well you sure look pretty!"

The thought of something like that ever happening is scary to no end, but also something that I dream would happen because being humiliated by her is one of my big kink buttons. Plus I do dream of being able to be "out" with more people so I can be who I am.

But her friend is pretty conservative in this regard, so I don't expect that anything close to this would ever happen..

Humiliation with her best friend's son - take 3! (and shopping)

Well it seems like Miss has become completely comfortable hanging my ego out to dry in front of her friend's son.

I guess I'm not surprised at all :-)

Last weekend he was over so he could attend his friend's graduation ceremony and party after.

She pretty much didn't avoid calling me jen, jenifer, and jen-jen in front of him. He seemed to avoid biting on any responses he might have made in recognition of her using my female name, much to my relief.

That night I had made a snack while we were hanging out watching TV. I asked both her and him if they would like some. He politely declined, but Miss had a taste and in a wonderfully dominant fashion commandeered the rest of it. I absolutely love it when she asserts herself over me like this, and that she did it in front of someone that we know made it all the better emotionally for me to be treated that way - go sub-space! MmmmmmmHmmmmm!

So this played out a little more. At this point I offered to get her friend's son some food from the kitchen, which he also politely declined. But she insisted on letting him know that he should feel free to accept any hospitality offered. She flat out said that "I'm her SLAVE and I do whatever she wants me to do." I can't remember his exact response, but I think it was something along the lines of the cliche "A Happy Wife makes a Happy Life". LOL!

The next day he was off with his friends, and we were off as usual doing our shopping errands. We were in the women's clothing area, and I had mentioned that I was interested in some women's shorts that were pretty short, but not "too" short, to wear while he was around. She was looking at clothes too. I was looking at things on one rack (her on another), and asked her what she thought about something. She asked me if I was looking for me or for her. There was a lady very near us that Miss wouldn't have noticed when she asked that. The lady obviously over-heard it, and looked up at me with an odd look on her face. Ooops!

She did pick up a top, and she noticed a great black skirt for me, and a $3 pair of short-shorts! Too bad they were not appropriate for wearing with company around, but they are awesome!

There was punishment to be had as well. We had picked up a butt-plug a few weeks ago. She had me wear it while I was outside doing chores, for a bit over an hour I'm guessing. Painful to get in even with lube, and VERY uncomfortable to wear! There were no lasting ill-effects from it, but removing it in front of her was a bit embarrassing for sure.

I think she slapped my face a couple of times too, but not very hard. Just enough to get my attention. I love being man-handled like that for some reason.

Take care everyone!

jen

And the Punishment Wheel lands on.... 5 Burns (Mistress to decide where)

Last weekend Miss decided I was due a punishment. That's actually pretty expected, as I'm sure many submissive's can relate :-)

She decided it was time to touch up the heart brands that are on the top of my bikini line, and her "M" initial in the middle of my lower back (also right at the top of where a bikini would be).

Both of those do cause a bit of pain, but she upped the ante and decided she needed to run out and get a pack of cigarettes so she could have a smoke and at the same time enjoy burning my ass and balls. Trust me, that REALLY hurts! I do yell out a bit when she's doing this.

She also took time to use the dildo on me for a while :-P Ohhh that is quite an experience. This is something we haven't done to much but I think she's become more interested in anal fun lately.

She also had me change some of the punishments for the wheel. She added Kneeling On Rice, which she did have me do. Uncomfortable!

She also added Enema (I never have experienced that), and Wear a Butt Plug While Doing Chores. We did stop by the adult toy store and picked up a butt plug so we'd have it for when that punishment comes up. We didn't pick up anything for an enema, I guess we'll have to do that soon.

Oh, we had run out of diapers, but ordered new ones and she had me wear them overnight. They leaked a little during the night.

For anyone reading, please have fun and take care!

jen

Punishment Wheel and Walmart

Last weekend found us making our periodic shopping run to the home improvement store and Walmart.

While at the home improvement store Miss told me to get my phone out so she could use the Punishment Wheel web page I had put up the week before.

The Punishment Wheel:
From time to time I have read blog posts that talk about having a punishment box that has whatever punishments the Mistress sees fit for her sub/sissy/slave written on cards inside.

When it's punishment time either the Mistress or the sub would pull a card out of the box or hat and he would be the lucky recipient of whatever punishment was written on it.  Using this kind of approach provides randomness and unpredictability to the sub in terms of how he might be disciplined.

I made 2 versions of this wheel, one for punishments at home, and another for punishments that are more appropriate while out in public.

And now, back to the to the home improvement store :-)

So I opened up the page to the Punishment Wheel, handed the phone to her, and she spun it.

The punishment was that I had to take a woman's clothing item to the dressing room and try it on:

We finish up at the home improvement store and head to Walmart.

During our shopping Miss had picked out a pink blouse for herself. We head to the dressing room area (it's for both women and men) but she doesn't like the look of some of the other men that are waiting there for their significant others so we continue shopping. She does try to be as careful as can be to avoid situations where someone might create a scene in a bad way.

Of course since she spun the wheel, I've been a nervous wreck worrying about how this is going to go down.

We get back to the dressing room area and she's good with what she sees so she sends me off on my own to try it on.

I start my walk to the counter where a woman clerk is standing waiting to help people. She isn't busy at the moment so she looks up at me as I'm walking. I am really worried about how she might react.

I'm holding the pink top in both of my hands as I near the counter. I had "balled it up" in an attempt to hide what it was, but I think that due to its rich pink color she knew it was not guy clothes, or anything that a guy would in a million years be interested in trying on.

The clerk asks how can she help me as soon as I approach her, like I was going to ask a question about the clothing in my hand. I told her, in what I think was a pretty awkward and nervous sounding voice that I wanted to go into the dressing room to try on "one item".

She repeated "Dressing room?" to me like she didn't hear it clearly, or didn't believe me. I said "Yes, one item please".

She hands me the little door hang sign that has a "1" on it to indicate how many items I was taking in, and she has to check a couple of doors to make sure she's putting me in a room that's empty. I was soo so embarrassed and exposed at this point.

She finds a room, opens the door for me, and I thank her as I go in and try it on.

Luckily she was away from the counter when I finally came out!

Ohhh this was hard to do!

Humiliation with her best friend's son - take 2

So a lot sooner than I would have expected, Miss's best friend's son was back over this past weekend.

The friend that he came to visit is moving out of state after graduation, and this might be his last chance to see him before he goes.

I get home from work Friday night and they are in the kitchen. Miss wasted absolutely zero time before starting the humiliation. She started it right off the bat!

As I walk in she yells in the loudest voice I can remember hearing "JENNIFER!!!!!!!" "JENNNIIFERRRR!!!!!" with him right there. It was like a sucker punch of humiliation and I was speechless for a few anxiety pounding heart beats.

Just the tiniest amount of time really went by I think, before I figured out how I would respond. I was walking REALLY SLOWLY from the front door to the kitchen to buy time to think. Of course my emotional reaction was "How to I cover for this so he doesn't see even more how sissy and submissive I am?"

But as soon as I "thought" that in my head I knew I was just cooked completely now. I knew that he would tie that back to her calling me "jen" as she had a few times when he was her a few weeks ago. I figured that any attempt at trying to hide the truth of this from him would just make my humiliation worse.

Honestly I was thinking that this was also a kind of a test - weather on purpose by her or not, as in the end she'd wind up judging how I reacted to what she had just done to me. I think if I didn't "own" my sissyness in that moment (by trying to cover it up somehow) she would think I really wasn't 100% committed to being who I am with her, and she would back off. Or she would just make it worse if I tried to deny or hide it and go to an even more extreme level of humiliation. Anyway, I really REALLY don't wan't to let either one of us down like that. She gets off so much on doing this to me, and with her outing me with her friends son now, it's just a whole new level she's taken us to.

The only other person that knows I'm anything other than an average male is her daughter who is so awesomely open about LGBT / "alternative lifestyles". She knows that I'm a cross dresser/TG. But I don't really know for sure to what extent what more her daughter knows about me.

So Miss's daughter has seen me en-femme, but her friend's son hasn't. So far he's just seen her treating me like a submissive "pussy whipped" little man. Now that I think of it, she might have even used that very phrase in front of him - little man! OH! And she told me he noticed that my legs are shaved! She said that I have them shaved because she wants them that way. True-true, but I like them shaved too of course :-)

That was Friday night. Saturday he was off to visit his friend, and we didn't expect him back until later at night.

Saturday we ran our errands, and I think I was in a man-shirt that did a better job of hiding my bra straps ;-)

We found a cute sun dress and skirt, and picked up some seamed stockings. I couldn't wait to get home to try the cloths on and get my makeup done for some quality girl time.

I tried on the sun dress for her (LOL - and I) and it looked great! So I went back and put on my makeup, and got into the other skirt and a top. Miss was taking a quick nap so I just started on prepping dinner. It wasn't 10 minutes after I had gotten dressed that the door bell rang - ARRGHHH!

I woke her up and asked her to tell whoever was at the door that I was busy. Well guess who it was? Her friend's son had come back way earlier than expected.

She yelled back to me "Billy's back!" And she told him I had been taking a nap. I wonder if he saw the half cut zucchini, squash, etc. that was in obvious mid-cutting board preparation?

Did he hear the bathroom sink going as I was frantically trying to get all the makeup off?

Well nothing was said, and I probably got back out of the bathroom after 15 minutes. Did he think anything of that I wonder?

The two of them went outside for a smoke while I continued on dinner. I went and joined them for a couple of minutes, but I don't really know him so I feel awkward like a 3rd wheel. She spends a lot of time at his house visiting so they have things in common that I have no clue about, so I usually just listen to them talking and hope there is something in the conversation that I can join in on.

Later that night we watched a movie (really bad B-movie), and I guess I was out of hand (drinking was involved). She told me I was showing off and I wasn't taking the hint to stop. She was definitely continuing on with the embarrassment of me in front of him.

She cut me off as punishment - no orgasm for me.

Your bra straps are showing

Miss has a few expectations for me, one of which is I am to wear a bra (under my boy shirt) when we are out doing our weekend shopping and errands.

This has been in place for some time now. On these days I try to pick a shirt that will not show the straps, but sometimes she tells me what shirt to wear.

I should point out that while I'm out like this I'm probably 90% of the time paranoid about if people can see them or not. So I try to lean forward to hide the outline of the bra from the front view if the majority of people around are in front of me, and I lean backward a bit if people are behind us, like if we are walking down the aisles of a store, to hide the straps over my back and shoulders.

So a couple of weeks ago we were out shopping. I was in a bra, and I had picked the shirt thinking it was hiding my bra straps pretty well....

Until we got to the local home improvement/DIY store.

We were looking for some hardware we needed, and as is often the case at this DIY store, the employees are always asking you if you need help finding anything.

So Miss was behind me, and she just at that random moment noticed that my bra straps were very obviously visible, and she told me so in a very humiliatingly tease-ey way. Something along the lines of "Oh I can REALLY see your straps in that shirt! I think people can surly be able to notice them!"

She said this was a big turn-on for her, which made me feel good in that submissive "I'm your property to do as I'm told" way. I did feel really good that what was going on was getting her off, while at the same time panic'd about how I was exposed and pretty much completely mortified.

So now I had to be 100% "defensive"about keeping my back from the line of sight of everyone around! I was very embarrassed and more afraid then ever at being noticed.

We were continuing to walk slowly down one end of that aisle looking for what we needed. I saw two employees had rounded the corner of the opposite end of the aisle, and I was sure they were going to ask if we needed help.

Miss was behind me, in front of them as they walked towards us and I kept a corner of my eye looking back to try to keep her between us and them, blocking their line of sight.

I'm sure that Miss would not be happy at all to know I was using her to block their view of me. I think she has the mindset along the lines of "This is who you are, I like and want you in a bra while we're out, and I know that inside you love wearing a bra in public. So what if people notice as I like it when you get embarrassed and humiliated, so deal with it!" I should also mention that more and more she calls me "jen" when we're out.

Anyway, back to the story, as the employees passed her, I turned so that my side was to them instead of my back, but one of them walked a little past me, so my back was to him. I turned all the way around to face them (leaning forward now to try to hide the front of the bra from them). Yes they asked if we needed any help finding anything. I said no we found what we were looking for.

They did seem to take their time moving on after that, as usually the employees here kind of keep moving in the same direction they were already heading to find their next victim to assist, but these two reversed direction and went back down towards the other end of the aisle, and I noticed that they looked back a couple of times.

It looked like they were talking to each other in that "don't wan't the customer to know what we're talking about" manner from their body language.

I asked Miss if she thought they noticed and she said yes she thought so! Ugghhh!

I was totally humiliated and just wanted to finish so we could leave. But I also felt proud in a way, that I had endured something so embarrassing and humiliating in public that Miss got a huge kick out of.