Christmas!

I guess my last post could be considered a bit of a Debbie Downer 😞. But being transgender can be really truly dangerous.

We just attended the TGirl Nights Christmas party at our favorite LGBT club. They haven't posted the pictures yet, but here are some that we took.

We arrived about 8:30, and there was a drag show happening before the start of the Christmas party. It ran a little late as those things tend to do. But we did get great seats off to the side of the stage/dance floor. We ordered some appetizers and enjoyed the show.

I didn't take any pictures during the actual drag show, but here are some I took before people filled back in for the TGirl Christmas party.

 Yes there are TGirl GoGo dancers.







The dance floor and stage - it got much more crowded as the night went on.

This was right after they cleared the stage, a gentleman and a Transwoman hit the dance floor to have some fun.

And boy did they!

* No, there was no dropping of the pants or zipper, it was all in sexy fun.






And here is what I wore that night...

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or at the very least Happy Winter Solstice!

2015 U.S. Transgender Survey Report is out

There is a lot of information in this report (you might want to start with the executive summary), you can find it @ http://www.ustranssurvey.org/report

Here are a few excerpts.

The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey (USTS) is the largest survey examining the experiences of transgender people in the United States, with 27,715 respondents from all fifty states.

In the year prior to completing the survey....

...Respondents reported high levels of mistreatment, harassment, and violence in every aspect of life. One in ten (10%) of those who were out to their immediate family reported that a family member was violent towards them because they were transgender, and 8% were kicked out of the house because they were transgender.

...30% of respondents who had a job reported being fired, denied a promotion, or experiencing some other form of mistreatment in the workplace due to their gender identity or expression, such as being verbally harassed or physically or sexually assaulted at work.

...46% of respondents were verbally harassed and 9% were physically attacked because of being transgender. During that same time period, 10% of respondents were sexually assaulted, and nearly half (47%) were sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime.

The demographics are interesting (in the full report).

I'm in the 15% bracket.

I very incorrectly presumed the vast majority of us were assigned male at birth.





I'm surprised that 81.8% of respondents were White / European American.

Maybe that's due to economic disparity of ethnic minorities in America, so not much access to the Internet to be able to participate in the survey?

Now with 41% more kink - LOL!

Sorry to lead into this blog post on a bit of a soap box, but I blog not just about my transgender identity, but also my sexuality, and kink. I am sex-positive, and kink-adventurous. Those parts of me aren't linked to my gender identity, but they are a part of me too.

If you saw me and met me in the real world, you wouldn't have any idea that I am what I share on this blog. I am very confident that there are many more out there like me - Yo!, fellow bloggers! And that is why porn and kink are so diversified. There are paying patrons that are into all kinds of kink, proven by the large economy around pornography of all types. Our Puritanical/Victorian/religious facades, especially here in the United States, are tragic to me. In the States it's OK to show brutal violence in movies and on public TV. But to show two people making love is somehow dirty, shameful, and so on. That is of course, completely backwards. We should encourage love and acceptance, not death and misery.

Alright, my rant is done....

Miss and I are into a lot of different things in the bedroom and out. We are definitely never bored. Our only challenge is time to spend together. If, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, we are quite fond :-P

So, here is a little more glimpse into our private fun. Oooops, not so private now.

There are times when she decides she needs to put me in my place and she denies me my girl time.

Sometimes it's a weekend in diapers.

12 hours makes for a very full diaper!

And if I really misbehave it's punishment time!

If I am good, and she feels generous, I at least get to wear a sissy girl outfit. I love the rumba panties!

If I really misbehave, punishments get a little more serious.... Miss likes to enjoy the occasional cigarette...

No, not a rash, nor chicken-pox

But at the end of the day, if she feels I've learned my lesson and reformed my errant ways, we spend a little time relaxing in bed.

Love each other people! It's better than a poke in the eye!

Thanks for not staring - LOL!

I'm really glad I'm feeling comfortable going out en-femme more, because I need to experience more of the reactions I might get when people realize that I'm a trans woman. That is what I need to get used to so my self-confidence will grow and my anxiety about people recognizing me as a trans person will fade away.

I mentioned that I've started going to my electrolysis appointments en-femme. Of course when I arrive, I have a couple of days beard growth. Despite that, I feel that due to the progress we have made my face looks good enough that I am comfortable with the short walk I have to make from the car to the salon.

There are actually two salons that I bounce between because my electrolysis person (I'll call her Mary) works in both on different days. Last weekend I was at the one that is full service and more up-scale. When I arrive they seat me in a reception area with a nice couch and chairs, water, tea & coffee, and a television that is usually showing beauty related content while they let Mary know her next appointment has arrived. Usually I only have to wait a few minutes, but this time she was running a little late so I had to wait longer.

A minute or two after I was seated, they brought back a couple that must have been in their 60's. I'm certain that the wife was there for an appointment, and her husband was along for the ride.

I was seated in the middle of the couch and as the couple entered this area the husband asked if they could put "the game" on for him to watch. I immediately said "let me move over so you can see the TV" and proceeded to slide to one side of the couch (the couch was the best place to sit to be able to see the TV screen). At about the same time I spoke, the receptionist that walked them back said that this TV didn't have regular channels, but when they move into the salon's work area the game would be on a TV there.

I could have sworn the wife did not have her sunglasses on when they entered, but when I looked up I noticed that she was sitting in her chair and she had put on some pretty dark sunglasses. This is not a brightly lit room mind you... So we were basically facing each other, and I felt like she was looking me over through the privacy of her sunglasses. There was not a single polite smile or facial expression from either of them whatsoever the entire time I sat there. While I felt the husband did a much better job of not totally gawking at me, the wife's face never seemed to look away from me as I occasionally glanced up from reading news on my phone.

Mary eventually came out to bring me back to her room. I have to say she is a great young lady, and it seems she very comfortable with me as a trans person. When she comes to get me I love the smile she gives when she sees what I'm wearing. This is just me assuming, but I think she loves having a trans person as a client. We're not all that common after all :-)

Mary told me that when the receptionist let her knowI was in the waiting area, that she said I was looking the best out of all the times that she had seen me! That made my day, as it wasn't said to me but to someone else, so I feel that it was a true compliment.

Here is what I looked like that day. The angle of the sun doesn't do me any favors - it was very unflattering, but here I am...

 

Thanks for reading, and take care all!

Shopping fun - Dress Barn, Adult toy store, working on my anxiety...

Shopping fun? - Dress Barn

A few weekends ago Miss and I had a little (en-femme) shopping trip. I had been curious about what types of clothes Dress Barn has, so we went and checked it out.

I didn't find too much that I liked, but I did pick up nice top (no picture - haven't worn it yet). Miss and I found several tops for her that looked good on the racks, but when she tried them on she only liked one of them.

Here is what I was wearing that day...

 


We had a sales person checking in on us and trying to be really helpful. She welcomed us shortly after we walked in with a "Hello ladies" greeting. After a few minutes of looking around, we had an item or two in our arms that we had picked out. The sales person came back by and asked Miss if she wanted to start a dressing room, which she answered "yes, sure!" While we were doing our shopping, she would come by every few minutes and offer to take anything else we picked out to the dressing room for us. Miss was not a terribly big fan of this level of service, as she prefers to take care of herself (or have me carry our goods).

This sales person was very professional and attentive. At first I was confident that she didn't make me out as trans, but I can tell by a change in how she looked at me that she eventually figured it out. Of course there were other people shopping in the store, and I'm just guessing that some of them probably figured it out too.

Up to this point there had not really been any awkward moments, and no one made any uncomfortable comments or gestures. When we were done looking, we went back to where the dressing rooms were, and our sales lady was there and directed Miss to her room. But it seemed like she did this in a way that came off as if she was only offering entry into the room to Miss, and it seemed to both of us that she was purposefully not extending that offer to me. Maybe that's because she didn't want to assume we were a couple? I hope so, but her demeanor seemed to be become a little cold towards the end of our time there, so I wonder if she wasn't a big trans/LGBT supporter, or maybe this was her first in-person experience with a trans woman and she didn't know how to react to it.

After the sales lady directed Miss to the dressing room, she asked me if I wanted to sit while I waited. I told her yes, and she grabbed a very simple folding metal chair, opened it up for me and placed it outside the the dressing room entrance, facing the checkout stand. There were several people in line, and I felt awkward and on display while I waited for Miss to return. I played with my phone to pass the time.

When Miss came back out she said that my top wasn't in the dressing room, and she pointed out that she noticed it had been hung on a rack with miscellaneous other things. I'm assuming it was the return rack. So why did our sales lady do that?

I grabbed the top off the rack, we got in line and waited for our turn at the checkout. The lady that rang us up was perfectly nice and polite to us, and thanked us ladies for coming in.

I doubt we are going back.

---

Shopping fun! - Adult toy store

We also stopped in at a local adult sex toy store. I told Miss I was interested in a dildo that was more stiff than the ones we have. I explained that it was hard to get them in at first because they bend so easily. It's really only a problem at the start of play time. Once it's in and things stretch out a little bit it's not much of an issue. But it sure takes us out of the moment while we struggle to get it in - LOL! The funniest part is that Miss says she agrees and feels the same way, about them being too flexible!

Anyway, we get to the store and there are more cars in the parking lot than any other time we've visited. So of course I'm feeling anxious about how this will go. We enter the store, and were greeted very nicely by a sales lady, again as ladies. I felt like she didn't catch on that I was a trans woman - YAY!

We went about our shopping, and it didn't seem like anyone picked up on me as anything other than being a woman. We looked at many dildos, but none seemed any more stiff than what we already had. There were some in packaging and we didn't really want to try opening them for fear of damaging the packaging.

We looked at vibrators too. As we were doing this another sales lady came by to answer any questions we might have had, and she pointed out some of the ones she thought were good quality.

There was one that was VERY powerful that Miss looked at. Her eyes lit up when I turned it on and touched her hand with it. She took it from me and her smile lit up wide :-D I pulled a Debbie downer on her and told her that I had read that your v-jay-jay can get so accustomed to that much stimulation that you become desensitized and any stimulation less intense just doesn't get you off  anymore. Of course I was feeling insecure a little about becoming less able to satisfy her myself, but then we *always* use a vibrator as it is for her to cum :-)

We were probably there for 30 or 40 minutes, and we needed more lube, so we looked at those for 10 minutes or so, and the sales lady again came by to ask what we were interested in and described what the different options are. I think this one had picked up on me being trans. I could sense that from the look on her face as she talked to us. It wasn't a bad look, just typical curiosity. We picked out some lube and checked out and that was that!

---

Anxiety

As I'm getting out more in public en-femme, with respect to getting past my anxieties, I am trying to change how I think about it, or more so how I feel and react when I feel my anxiety.

Lately I've tried to think of being out in public as me being something for people to talk about, and that I'm "promoting" LGBT acceptance by being out in public. Hey! I'm working for the cause! ;-)

I'm guess that I'm actually working on "owning" myself, my transgender self. My not always going to pass self. I think it's going good so far. And I know that as time goes on I'll get more and more comfortable.

Decades ago, in high school drama class, was my first time meeting a gay person in person. There were several in the class that I was aware of. I was very shy, I still am more than I'd like, and I found it a more comfortable feeling to befriend them than the other "normal" kids that I was somehow more intimidated by. I ended up keeping friends with them through high school. There were three of them, and they all graduated a year or two before I did.  Two of them were guys, that years later I ran across on a web site or news article that they were a couple still. The third was a (lesbian) girl that I've not heard anything of since. I guess the point of this paragraph is that I subconsciously at the time felt more comfortable with people in the LGBT realm than my "straight" peers. They just didn't seem threatening to me like others. And with what I know myself to be now that makes a lot of sense :-)

I hope you've enjoyed reading!

Take care everyone!

More girl time - Electrolysis

Starting with our recent trip to Las Vegas, my confidence is growing with my en-femme presentation.

This is mainly thanks to how much better my face looks from progress with electrolysis. I've been going 3 to 4 times a month for 8 months now. My cheeks are almost hair free, and my upper lip and chin are progressing nicely too. Almost all the dark hair from my chin-line and up is gone. I just have the white hair left above my chin-line.

While I've only lost a small bit of weight (17 lbs), I am seeing a lot more difference in inches than 17 lbs might indicate, and that improves my presentation too.

My last 3 Electrolysis appointments I've gone en-femme, instead of in the androgynous style girl cloths that I have worn at times when in boy mode. The lady that I see was very happy to see me in person en-femme too, and she said she prefers my that way - YAY! I actually see here in two different salons, so I get to interact with different sets of people in public which is great!

I was worried that she would be bothered by my wig, but she was fine and asked if I used hairpins to help keep it in place, as she has other clients that wear them and she said they have to fuss with them to keep putting them back into place as she's working on them. I told her no I didn't need them, that the wigs I have stay in place pretty good. But while I'm on her table I do try to be careful to not move my head in ways that can mess up my hair.

I made a very positive comment on her Yelp! page about what her great work has been doing for my transition, and since she's told me that she has had 2 other trans women start to see her. I'd like to think that they read my comment and knew that she was trans-friendly!

My first time fully en-femme going to her I wore one of the outfits that I took to Vegas.

The second time I wore this blue skirt and pink tank top.

 

Have a great day everyone!

Vegas Girl-cation!

It finally worked out for Miss and I to make a trip to Las Vegas.

We had a fabulous time, and I got to spend a few days of continuous en-femme time, which is a bit of a dream come true :-)

With a rare empty house, I packed my bags, did my toenails (messed up a big toe 5 times!), put my makeup and hair on, and drove off to Miss's place. 

She did my fingernails, and then we headed off.

If traffic is good, which it was both there and back, the drive is about 4 hours for us on a mostly 2 lane highway. If there is an accident or during weekend traffic it can take 6 hours. There was an active fire that had been going on for days off the highway by some miles. We were worried that the highway would be closed. But good fortune shined down on us and we missed that, but the week after we were there the fire did cause the highway to be closed for a day or two.

As we got close to the California-Nevada state line, there was a very interesting solar power complex. I've never seen anything like it before. It's been almost 8 years since I last made this drive and it wasn't there back then. Apparently it's the largest one. You can read about it here Ivanpah Solar Power Facility

   

We got to the hotel Bellagio at about 7 o'clock. Walking from the elevator through the large, fairly crowded open area that the lobby is, I was nervous as always about how I was presenting. There was not much of a line to check-in, so we finished that up right away, and yes we we're greeted as ladies by the clerk!

We head through the casino to the elevators to our suite. This will be fairly common for me on the trip, I noticed several people making strong eye contact with me as we are walking. I'm wondering if they are picking up on me being trasngender, or if that is more of a "Vegas" thing for guys to "stare up?" girls. 

As I'm writing and thinking about this, I'm wondering if  "guys" may generally avoid long eye contact with each other, but maybe are more aggressive lookers at women? Maybe Vegas extends that to even longer and more aggressive looking or "checking out" (some guys are there looking to get lucky)? If I consider my past experiences in Vegas in guy mode, there may be something to that. I'm not an aggressive person, but maybe I gave myself license to look a little longer at women in past visits.

Miss and I pretty much held hands most of the time as we walked around. Two "girls" that appear as lesbians probably get more attention than usual too. So maybe I was "asking for it" (the looks and attention) by virtue of putting out the girlfriends vibe?

This is the outfit I wore for the first day. I was very comfortable in this!

We had great service, the room was wonderful, there was not a single negative thing said to us. I got to interact casually with other men and women as we gambled in the casinos and that was really nice. 

The next day we had a delicious breakfast in the cafe...

Bellagio

Then we ventured out on foot to visit a few of the other nearby casinos. We went to Planet Hollywood and Paris, basically walking around, gambling, getting a free drink here and there. It was a really fun time :-) 

Paris / Ballys

Planet Hollywood

Happy to break even!

Here is my outfit for that day. I love the plaid shorts, and was really looking forward to a chance to wear them out and about!

On this trip I did not use foundation at all when I did my makeup (100+ degrees outside). I just did my eyes, used blush and with just powder it did a nice job of evening out my skin tone.

Here is another favorite outfit I wore on the trip.

I bought a new pair of sandals for this trip too!

Our last day of the trip, in the Bellagio lobby. They have great art exhibits, but I wasn't thinking of taking pictures of them at the time. There is an aquarium in the background in the left hand picture.

Thanks for reading!
jen

Lingerie smut & we get out kink-on!

Just for the heck of it - I don't think I've posted anything this naughty so far!

Last night Miss told me to get out "all her toys." Whips, dildos, nipple suction cubs, Wartenberg pinwheel, and a Violet wand. Yes indeed, it was playtime!

 

I recently made a DIY metal restraint device that we tried out for the first time last night. We didn't take any pictures, but I'm sure we will and eventually and I'll post something. It is a poor man's version of this:

After Miss had me wrist and ankle cuffed, she got right down to business with her Flicker whip. She told me to count each stroke that she gave me. She stopped at 60 and said she was disappointed that I didn't miss count because she would have started over... then she started over anyway and gave me another 60!

After that she moved on to taking my little boi pussy with her dildo. That went on for quite a while, and we both really got off on it. I was completly lost

Eventually she un-cuffed me from our DIY restraint device, and we moved into the bedroom. She had me worship her hot and sexy "play place" for a while, and I took the opportunity to tease her lovely back door with fingers and tongue while I was down there. She started in on herself with her egg vibrator while I continued to kiss, lick and suckle all of her sexyness down there. She was really looking to cum at that point, so she had me stroke her in and out with a g-spot vibrator while she used the other one on her hot little pink button. 

She reached her orgasm pretty quickly at that point, then climbed off the bed and said something like "I got what I wanted jen, no orgasm for you!" From how she was acting and what she was saying, she's found her Domme spark again. I'm in trouble now for sure!

Hope you enjoyed!

What have we been up to?

I have to apologize, I've been in a bit of a slump as far as posting goes. When life gets busy I'm online less, and I know that is not unique to me :-)

I am happier every week after my electrolysis appointment. I really look forward to them! I shoot for 2 hour sessions, 3 or 4 times a month. I see continuing improvement to the smoothness of my face, most all of my dark hair is gone and it's the white ones we are going after now. I've been trying out skipping foundation when I put on my makeup, going just with a powder which seems to do really great at giving me a smooth complexion. I haven't figured out how long the powder will hold up on its own yet.

We went to TGirl Tuesday Karaoke at Hamburger Mary's last week. When we got there the Mayor of Long Beach (Robert Garcia, its first openly gay mayor) was holding a going away celebration for one of the city employees. It was running late and so things didn't get started until 10 pm or so. We hung out, there was some light catering that apparently anyone that showed up could eat so we did. There was a lot of toasting, and recounting progress made (in Long Beach and in general) for LGBT rights and issues. I got to meat the mayor too! He's an attractive man!

I was wearing something similar to this:

 

We had fun as usual, but didn't stay late.

We've also gotten a little kink on. I'll be making a quick post about that.

I hope you all are enjoying your summer!