Coming up for air. New toys, orgasms for us middle-agers...

Another period of "life is busy" has kept me from posting much.

But a lot has been going on for us kink-wise! New toys, and new explorations of our fetishes. MmmmHmmmmmm!

I've been enjoying my en-femme time, mostly just around my weekly electrolysis appointments. I'm loving the progress, and how much MUCH more smooth my face feels now!

As for new toys, those are most recent. Glass dildos - oh yes! we have only used them once so far, and it was good!

This one Miss nick-named "Blue Balls." It's a G-spot (left side) and an anal (right side) dildo. We started using this one on her first. 

Just some background, for many years now our "recipe" for Miss to have great orgasms is with her on top, with a bullet vibe pressed between her clit and my pelvic area. That allows her control of the pressure of the vibe against her clit, and it's "hands free." But we have never really used any toys inside her (well, other than my PA piercing). Yes we know well about the G-spot, but she has intense orgasms (like epileptic seizure style, lots of massive convulsions!) with just clit stimulation so we never really were motivated to explore it.

Back to Blue Balls... So with her on her back, lying down, I use a little lube and ease it into her. I think her initial reaction was hey, what's going in me?! After she got used to it I oriented the dildo so the penis end was in her and the curve of it was up to hit her G-spot. I tried different depths, pressure, speed of stroking, twisting slightly side to side, going in and out and side to side at the same time, and so on. It seemed like she was experiencing sensations she has never had before, so I think this will take a little getting used to (like getting used to anal for me - hehehehe!) I took her direction as we went as to what was working for her.

Eventually she decided she was turned on enough, and she wanted to cum. So she got out the bullet vibe and started playing with herself while I continued on with Blue Balls. It was a little tight (pun intended) with both things going on at the same time, but boy did she end up with an awesome orgasm!

We then moved on to the other dildo. The first glass dildo I ever remember seeing was called "The Juicer." It had a handle on the outside end, so you could spin it around. I always wanted to find out if that works for a girl and now I get to find out.

This was easier for me to use on her as it's not a thrusting motion it's a spinning motion. There are "nubs" in the glass that are to provide stimulation to her vaginal opening, and to her clit. Unfortunately we went right to this after round one, and Miss was not quite recuperated yet.

So we moved on to one of our new kink/fetishes, which we had barely explored years ago. Miss wasn't really interested in it back then, but I brought it back up and was politely persistent about it with her, and she finally gave in and let me give it a try a few months ago.

Oh! DAMN! Humoring me in this was the best thing she has done for herself in quite a while (I say with all humility and respect!) And as far as sex goes, "I think" it is probably in her top 5 "best sex" things ever. And the big reveal for you wonderful readers out there, is that she let me eat out her ass! On a personal note, that act is turning me on in the most awesome submissive slave kind of way. What says "I love you" more than being willing to lick clean your partners ass?!! Let me tell you I was rock hard and my mind was blown away at the submissive emotions!!! I was out of my mind! With every lick, it seemed to cause my cock to throb :-D

The first time she let me do this she wasn't quite comfortable with it, but the second, or maybe at most the third time, when I was done back there, and we went back to our tried-and-true methods I mentioned above, she had her usual earth shattering orgasm.

When she was done, then I proceeded to my orgasm (normal routine for us). While on my way to my fun, she had a second earth shattering orgasm! Spoiler alert - this was new ground for her! I hate to say it, but she is a bit like a guy, in that when she has a big O, she is done for the night (as far as orgasms go).

Double spoiler alert! We are baby boomers, around 50. Mother nature messes with us in different ways as the years go by. She hadn't shared with me that she hasn't been having the earth shattering orgasms like in the past, for a while :-(. I wasn't at all aware of this. So low and behold, after we come down from all the sex, she tells me about it. And she tells me "Thank god! I thought I was never going to be able to cum like I used to! And I have never had two [huge/earth shattering] orgasms like that ever before!"

I took that as a huge compliment. Not in my skill, but just that I'm the one with her and lucky enough to be able to have a role here. We are having the best sex of our lives at an age where it often can start to suck really bad :-P

We then moved on to using Blue Balls on me. I am really curious about prostate massage and if I can be milked. Solo I have tried the Aneros but not often, and not with success for milking. Miss used the G-Spot end, not the anal end. I was on all fours doggie style and she gave me a good fucking with that thing. So much that it bruised me around my backdoor entrance. I don't even remember cuming, maybe I didn't as I'm not that used to anal and it can take a little more effort to get me to cum (which actually can be good!) But let me tell you, this night was in the best-ever categories for both of us, for sure.

Christmas!

I guess my last post could be considered a bit of a Debbie Downer 😞. But being transgender can be really truly dangerous.

We just attended the TGirl Nights Christmas party at our favorite LGBT club. They haven't posted the pictures yet, but here are some that we took.

We arrived about 8:30, and there was a drag show happening before the start of the Christmas party. It ran a little late as those things tend to do. But we did get great seats off to the side of the stage/dance floor. We ordered some appetizers and enjoyed the show.

I didn't take any pictures during the actual drag show, but here are some I took before people filled back in for the TGirl Christmas party.

 Yes there are TGirl GoGo dancers.







The dance floor and stage - it got much more crowded as the night went on.

This was right after they cleared the stage, a gentleman and a Transwoman hit the dance floor to have some fun.

And boy did they!

* No, there was no dropping of the pants or zipper, it was all in sexy fun.






And here is what I wore that night...

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or at the very least Happy Winter Solstice!

2015 U.S. Transgender Survey Report is out

There is a lot of information in this report (you might want to start with the executive summary), you can find it @ http://www.ustranssurvey.org/report

Here are a few excerpts.

The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey (USTS) is the largest survey examining the experiences of transgender people in the United States, with 27,715 respondents from all fifty states.

In the year prior to completing the survey....

...Respondents reported high levels of mistreatment, harassment, and violence in every aspect of life. One in ten (10%) of those who were out to their immediate family reported that a family member was violent towards them because they were transgender, and 8% were kicked out of the house because they were transgender.

...30% of respondents who had a job reported being fired, denied a promotion, or experiencing some other form of mistreatment in the workplace due to their gender identity or expression, such as being verbally harassed or physically or sexually assaulted at work.

...46% of respondents were verbally harassed and 9% were physically attacked because of being transgender. During that same time period, 10% of respondents were sexually assaulted, and nearly half (47%) were sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime.

The demographics are interesting (in the full report).

I'm in the 15% bracket.

I very incorrectly presumed the vast majority of us were assigned male at birth.





I'm surprised that 81.8% of respondents were White / European American.

Maybe that's due to economic disparity of ethnic minorities in America, so not much access to the Internet to be able to participate in the survey?

Now with 41% more kink - LOL!

Sorry to lead into this blog post on a bit of a soap box, but I blog not just about my transgender identity, but also my sexuality, and kink. I am sex-positive, and kink-adventurous. Those parts of me aren't linked to my gender identity, but they are a part of me too.

If you saw me and met me in the real world, you wouldn't have any idea that I am what I share on this blog. I am very confident that there are many more out there like me - Yo!, fellow bloggers! And that is why porn and kink are so diversified. There are paying patrons that are into all kinds of kink, proven by the large economy around pornography of all types. Our Puritanical/Victorian/religious facades, especially here in the United States, are tragic to me. In the States it's OK to show brutal violence in movies and on public TV. But to show two people making love is somehow dirty, shameful, and so on. That is of course, completely backwards. We should encourage love and acceptance, not death and misery.

Alright, my rant is done....

Miss and I are into a lot of different things in the bedroom and out. We are definitely never bored. Our only challenge is time to spend together. If, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, we are quite fond :-P

So, here is a little more glimpse into our private fun. Oooops, not so private now.

There are times when she decides she needs to put me in my place and she denies me my girl time.

Sometimes it's a weekend in diapers.

12 hours makes for a very full diaper!

And if I really misbehave it's punishment time!

If I am good, and she feels generous, I at least get to wear a sissy girl outfit. I love the rumba panties!

If I really misbehave, punishments get a little more serious.... Miss likes to enjoy the occasional cigarette...

No, not a rash, nor chicken-pox

But at the end of the day, if she feels I've learned my lesson and reformed my errant ways, we spend a little time relaxing in bed.

Love each other people! It's better than a poke in the eye!

Thanks for not staring - LOL!

I'm really glad I'm feeling comfortable going out en-femme more, because I need to experience more of the reactions I might get when people realize that I'm a trans woman. That is what I need to get used to so my self-confidence will grow and my anxiety about people recognizing me as a trans person will fade away.

I mentioned that I've started going to my electrolysis appointments en-femme. Of course when I arrive, I have a couple of days beard growth. Despite that, I feel that due to the progress we have made my face looks good enough that I am comfortable with the short walk I have to make from the car to the salon.

There are actually two salons that I bounce between because my electrolysis person (I'll call her Mary) works in both on different days. Last weekend I was at the one that is full service and more up-scale. When I arrive they seat me in a reception area with a nice couch and chairs, water, tea & coffee, and a television that is usually showing beauty related content while they let Mary know her next appointment has arrived. Usually I only have to wait a few minutes, but this time she was running a little late so I had to wait longer.

A minute or two after I was seated, they brought back a couple that must have been in their 60's. I'm certain that the wife was there for an appointment, and her husband was along for the ride.

I was seated in the middle of the couch and as the couple entered this area the husband asked if they could put "the game" on for him to watch. I immediately said "let me move over so you can see the TV" and proceeded to slide to one side of the couch (the couch was the best place to sit to be able to see the TV screen). At about the same time I spoke, the receptionist that walked them back said that this TV didn't have regular channels, but when they move into the salon's work area the game would be on a TV there.

I could have sworn the wife did not have her sunglasses on when they entered, but when I looked up I noticed that she was sitting in her chair and she had put on some pretty dark sunglasses. This is not a brightly lit room mind you... So we were basically facing each other, and I felt like she was looking me over through the privacy of her sunglasses. There was not a single polite smile or facial expression from either of them whatsoever the entire time I sat there. While I felt the husband did a much better job of not totally gawking at me, the wife's face never seemed to look away from me as I occasionally glanced up from reading news on my phone.

Mary eventually came out to bring me back to her room. I have to say she is a great young lady, and it seems she very comfortable with me as a trans person. When she comes to get me I love the smile she gives when she sees what I'm wearing. This is just me assuming, but I think she loves having a trans person as a client. We're not all that common after all :-)

Mary told me that when the receptionist let her knowI was in the waiting area, that she said I was looking the best out of all the times that she had seen me! That made my day, as it wasn't said to me but to someone else, so I feel that it was a true compliment.

Here is what I looked like that day. The angle of the sun doesn't do me any favors - it was very unflattering, but here I am...

 

Thanks for reading, and take care all!

Shopping fun - Dress Barn, Adult toy store, working on my anxiety...

Shopping fun? - Dress Barn

A few weekends ago Miss and I had a little (en-femme) shopping trip. I had been curious about what types of clothes Dress Barn has, so we went and checked it out.

I didn't find too much that I liked, but I did pick up nice top (no picture - haven't worn it yet). Miss and I found several tops for her that looked good on the racks, but when she tried them on she only liked one of them.

Here is what I was wearing that day...

 


We had a sales person checking in on us and trying to be really helpful. She welcomed us shortly after we walked in with a "Hello ladies" greeting. After a few minutes of looking around, we had an item or two in our arms that we had picked out. The sales person came back by and asked Miss if she wanted to start a dressing room, which she answered "yes, sure!" While we were doing our shopping, she would come by every few minutes and offer to take anything else we picked out to the dressing room for us. Miss was not a terribly big fan of this level of service, as she prefers to take care of herself (or have me carry our goods).

This sales person was very professional and attentive. At first I was confident that she didn't make me out as trans, but I can tell by a change in how she looked at me that she eventually figured it out. Of course there were other people shopping in the store, and I'm just guessing that some of them probably figured it out too.

Up to this point there had not really been any awkward moments, and no one made any uncomfortable comments or gestures. When we were done looking, we went back to where the dressing rooms were, and our sales lady was there and directed Miss to her room. But it seemed like she did this in a way that came off as if she was only offering entry into the room to Miss, and it seemed to both of us that she was purposefully not extending that offer to me. Maybe that's because she didn't want to assume we were a couple? I hope so, but her demeanor seemed to be become a little cold towards the end of our time there, so I wonder if she wasn't a big trans/LGBT supporter, or maybe this was her first in-person experience with a trans woman and she didn't know how to react to it.

After the sales lady directed Miss to the dressing room, she asked me if I wanted to sit while I waited. I told her yes, and she grabbed a very simple folding metal chair, opened it up for me and placed it outside the the dressing room entrance, facing the checkout stand. There were several people in line, and I felt awkward and on display while I waited for Miss to return. I played with my phone to pass the time.

When Miss came back out she said that my top wasn't in the dressing room, and she pointed out that she noticed it had been hung on a rack with miscellaneous other things. I'm assuming it was the return rack. So why did our sales lady do that?

I grabbed the top off the rack, we got in line and waited for our turn at the checkout. The lady that rang us up was perfectly nice and polite to us, and thanked us ladies for coming in.

I doubt we are going back.

---

Shopping fun! - Adult toy store

We also stopped in at a local adult sex toy store. I told Miss I was interested in a dildo that was more stiff than the ones we have. I explained that it was hard to get them in at first because they bend so easily. It's really only a problem at the start of play time. Once it's in and things stretch out a little bit it's not much of an issue. But it sure takes us out of the moment while we struggle to get it in - LOL! The funniest part is that Miss says she agrees and feels the same way, about them being too flexible!

Anyway, we get to the store and there are more cars in the parking lot than any other time we've visited. So of course I'm feeling anxious about how this will go. We enter the store, and were greeted very nicely by a sales lady, again as ladies. I felt like she didn't catch on that I was a trans woman - YAY!

We went about our shopping, and it didn't seem like anyone picked up on me as anything other than being a woman. We looked at many dildos, but none seemed any more stiff than what we already had. There were some in packaging and we didn't really want to try opening them for fear of damaging the packaging.

We looked at vibrators too. As we were doing this another sales lady came by to answer any questions we might have had, and she pointed out some of the ones she thought were good quality.

There was one that was VERY powerful that Miss looked at. Her eyes lit up when I turned it on and touched her hand with it. She took it from me and her smile lit up wide :-D I pulled a Debbie downer on her and told her that I had read that your v-jay-jay can get so accustomed to that much stimulation that you become desensitized and any stimulation less intense just doesn't get you off  anymore. Of course I was feeling insecure a little about becoming less able to satisfy her myself, but then we *always* use a vibrator as it is for her to cum :-)

We were probably there for 30 or 40 minutes, and we needed more lube, so we looked at those for 10 minutes or so, and the sales lady again came by to ask what we were interested in and described what the different options are. I think this one had picked up on me being trans. I could sense that from the look on her face as she talked to us. It wasn't a bad look, just typical curiosity. We picked out some lube and checked out and that was that!

---

Anxiety

As I'm getting out more in public en-femme, with respect to getting past my anxieties, I am trying to change how I think about it, or more so how I feel and react when I feel my anxiety.

Lately I've tried to think of being out in public as me being something for people to talk about, and that I'm "promoting" LGBT acceptance by being out in public. Hey! I'm working for the cause! ;-)

I'm guess that I'm actually working on "owning" myself, my transgender self. My not always going to pass self. I think it's going good so far. And I know that as time goes on I'll get more and more comfortable.

Decades ago, in high school drama class, was my first time meeting a gay person in person. There were several in the class that I was aware of. I was very shy, I still am more than I'd like, and I found it a more comfortable feeling to befriend them than the other "normal" kids that I was somehow more intimidated by. I ended up keeping friends with them through high school. There were three of them, and they all graduated a year or two before I did.  Two of them were guys, that years later I ran across on a web site or news article that they were a couple still. The third was a (lesbian) girl that I've not heard anything of since. I guess the point of this paragraph is that I subconsciously at the time felt more comfortable with people in the LGBT realm than my "straight" peers. They just didn't seem threatening to me like others. And with what I know myself to be now that makes a lot of sense :-)

I hope you've enjoyed reading!

Take care everyone!

More girl time - Electrolysis

Starting with our recent trip to Las Vegas, my confidence is growing with my en-femme presentation.

This is mainly thanks to how much better my face looks from progress with electrolysis. I've been going 3 to 4 times a month for 8 months now. My cheeks are almost hair free, and my upper lip and chin are progressing nicely too. Almost all the dark hair from my chin-line and up is gone. I just have the white hair left above my chin-line.

While I've only lost a small bit of weight (17 lbs), I am seeing a lot more difference in inches than 17 lbs might indicate, and that improves my presentation too.

My last 3 Electrolysis appointments I've gone en-femme, instead of in the androgynous style girl cloths that I have worn at times when in boy mode. The lady that I see was very happy to see me in person en-femme too, and she said she prefers my that way - YAY! I actually see here in two different salons, so I get to interact with different sets of people in public which is great!

I was worried that she would be bothered by my wig, but she was fine and asked if I used hairpins to help keep it in place, as she has other clients that wear them and she said they have to fuss with them to keep putting them back into place as she's working on them. I told her no I didn't need them, that the wigs I have stay in place pretty good. But while I'm on her table I do try to be careful to not move my head in ways that can mess up my hair.

I made a very positive comment on her Yelp! page about what her great work has been doing for my transition, and since she's told me that she has had 2 other trans women start to see her. I'd like to think that they read my comment and knew that she was trans-friendly!

My first time fully en-femme going to her I wore one of the outfits that I took to Vegas.

The second time I wore this blue skirt and pink tank top.

 

Have a great day everyone!