"I saw pics of this guy on Fetlife about a month ago. Hes been in Chastity for 17 years. How would you feel about that?"To answer your question (and this is a long answer), before us trying this chastity experiment out, the thought of long term chastity had not entered my mind. I hadn't thought very consciously about duration at all. I just had thoughts that would pop into my head about how frustrated and out of my mind I would be after a week, or two weeks, or (GASP!) three weeks without an orgasm. I guess anything longer than that seemed unthinkable to me? I really have no other concrete reason as to why I thought that way.
As of today I've been in chastity for about three and a half weeks - two and a half since handing over custody of the keys and any control I had over getting off. And that is HARD! (pun intended!) Miss has let me out twice (last weekend, and the weekend before).
Just prior to starting with chastity I had become more sexual, or I guess more horny. I was masturbating probably three or four times during the week. For background, we are only together on weekends due to my kid situation. Monday to Friday we are apart, and I'd get off in the morning before my shower. So I think Miss is very happy to keep me from masturbating... Very happy :-)
Physically I'm thinking the device is working out really well, much better than I ever expected. So as of today, from a practical perspective, it seems like I could possibly wear it nearly 24/7/365.
I am still trying to get my head around the mental and emotional part. In one way I feel so proud that I have been able to be in chastity for this long because Miss is so absolutely thrilled at the control this gives her. And I had no idea to what degree she was going to like this. I was afraid it would not be of any interest to her, and I really-really wanted her to want to keep me in chastity because her wanting that for herself would be another sign to me that she wants me as hers. It would also be an expression of love from her to me, that she wants me as her, well, play-toy?
OK, that was a bit of rambling stream of consciousness. What has been on my (worrying) mind this last week is what is Miss thinking? Since I'm doing pretty well with the device physically, is she thinking that unless she's using her toy there is no real reason that it needs to be unlocked?
I want to ask her and probably will, but she might get annoyed that I'm asking and punish me for it. In fact last night she put me on notice that if I get all naggy about how sore and frustrated I can get in the cage, or if I have any non-submissive attitude with her that she would not unlock me this weekend at all. That would mean I'd be locked up for two more weeks, making it three weeks since she last unlocked me, and five and a half weeks in chastity total (granted, with 3 releases).
Actually I may have already exhibited "Attitude" with her on the phone last night, and she called me out on it. I hope she doesn't consider that cause to keep me locked and denied as she threatened to :-(
One thing about being locked up is that I am more submissive, and I'm also much more horny! Especially when I have the urethral tube inserted. But Miss has not (yet) tortured me by having me bring her to orgasm while keeping me in the cage and denying me the same. I'm not sure if that idea has caught her fancy yet.
Short answer: A part of me wants to be in chastity 24/7/365, no doubt about it. I never expected to feel that way. Another part of me is struggling with being so horny and not being able to get off.
Reading that back I think I'm thinking like many people probably do. I'll just have to wait to see what Miss wants, and go from there.
p.s. If I'm going to be locked up I guess I need to stock up on crotchless panties! Time to shop!!! :-D
jenni~ great post to Mistress Anna, thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeletei was just thinking of you a bit ago, and whether you would admit to "whining" to Miss about your (lengthening, ha!) condition.
i guess you've been doing better than i think i would. My "attitude" would have me submissively getting yanked over Wife's knees, i'm sure of it!
How are you finding peeing now with the tube?
And, yes, always a good time to buy some crotchless panties, hee hee!
Have a fun weekend!
sissy hug, sara
Hi sarah e!
DeletePeeing through the tube is no problem, but it doesn't reliably keep the stream consistently well behaved. I think I need a larger diameter, and maybe a little longer.
Miss will probably just punish me by longer time in chastity without release rather than a spanking.
sissy hug to you too! hehehehehe!
jen
j~ let me add, you may appreciate Ms. Kathy's recent post at
ReplyDeletehttp://femdom101.blogspot.com
sar~
Sounds like she is heading in the direction of long term chastity and that you hopes she does.
DeleteFD
Thank you Florida Dom, I think you are right :-D
Deletejenni- hope you had a good Thanksgiving! Quiet times here, though Wife did flip me over one morning and make me put on a "jerk off in your panties" show in bed. That done, she smirked and went back to sleep... no interest in me pleasing Her.
ReplyDeleteHad a wild thought today, walking behind a tall (6'2"?) woman... imagine Her as a Domme, taller than me. Both of us naked, but She torments me since i'm not tall enough to fuck Her. hugs, sara
Hi sara e!
DeleteThanksgiving was good - not too awkward even though it was at my ex's place (with our kids)!
Oh now does your wife get a kick out of humiliating you and denying you? You really need chastity - or maybe she needs you in chastity? LOL!
The tall, Domme woman is a good one. Especially if she "looks down on you" as inadequate to please her. Maybe she would get pleasure out of you somehow, and deny you yours? Hehehehehe!
jenni~ Glad Thanksgiving was good, and that it wasn't too awkward. Great for the kids.
ReplyDeleteWell, sometimes She gets a kick out of a little humiliation! She does not deny me from cumming (only that it may not be with Her, She decides that!!). She has not expressed any interest in chastity...so far. Geez, i could so see the advantages of chastity if i were a Woman... much better "productivity" around here, and attention...lol! But you understand that, hee hee.
i hope Miss lets you have some cummies this weekend (ha!)... unless you'd rather....wait! :) sara