Getting our FemDom sissy slave BDSM on! (and more backstory)

OK, time to depart from whatever level of political and cultural correctness I've managed to maintain on this blog and share some of our deep dark steamy kink!

Among the many things we could be classified as, Miss and I are a  FemDom couple. Maybe I should real quick try to share more background for people to get a better picture of what we are like...

As a kid I was very shy, so introverted. When we were in high school and Miss had me in the "Friend Zone" we hung out for hour upon hour and I wanted to make a move but was terrified to do so. I was waiting for some sign from her that she had interest but that didn't happen until around 5 or 6 years after we had first met. So I think that's a big facet of my submissiveness to her.

Not too long ago I posted about how Miss and I got back together after another 15 or so years went by of no contact. In that post I mentioned how I had to come out to her about my cross dressing because I felt I couldn't keep that in the closet, and needed to know if she was ok with it or not. As it turned out she was more than ok with it, and over time I realized that she loves me being a woman - Damn lucky I am!

BDSM, enter stage right!
In the early stages of us getting back together somehow I also brought up another kink, BDSM. She was good with this and we started slowly. At first she would tie me up and there wold be some whipping and spanking. Nothing really extreme. That's as far as it went during the 1st round of our re-uniting. We split up (I went back to my ex and kids).

Cross dressing gets more serious
During the second try at re-uniting things developed a little further. When we had alone time at her place I was dressing up more. And she gave me my first experience with makeup! I still hadn't consciously realized I was transgender. I would dress up and we would go outside and sit on her front patio, have a few drinks, and chill out. It was an upstairs apartment and fairly secluded if we were sitting. I don't remember where this wig came from!

Miss bought me my first dress ever!

Outside on Miss's patio

Sexy time!

Miss is a 'cutter'!
She must have brought the subject up. While I knew one aspect of cutting, from the negative psychological perspective with people doing it to themselves, I had never heard of anything kink-positive about it. When she brought it up I was thinking (to myself) "I can't take that kind of pain!" But I did not want to let her down, so she carved me. She carved the word "SLAVE" across my upper back, and I think it was with a diabetic syringe needle.

Perhaps this happened that same night, and perhaps it was a different carving; it was a number of years ago. It was raining, and late in the evening. I was so out of my mind about going through that pain, for sure endorphin's were running high. I was experiencing a euphoric orgasm of mind blowing ecstasy coming out of the pain of having my back carved.

I was in a primal, instinctive, adrenaline pumped crazy impulsive state of mind. That's the best I can describe it, and I have never experienced anything like that before. I put on a pair of Miss's high heels. I might have had some makeup on. I walked out her front door onto the patio. I looked around, the rain was coming down pretty good. I don't know what was in my head, but I continued walking down the stairs. Only in her black heels, with SLAVE carved on my back, probably some blood was seeping out of it. I walked all the way around her apartment building, into the alley behind, then back upstairs to her apartment. All I can say is I was out of my mind in subspace. I sooo easily could have been seen by a neighbor, or a car turning the corner in the alley, but I don't think I was.

There was another instance where she was really pissed at me. She carved a broken heart on my chest! I was scared about how upset she was. At the same time I was relived that at least she wasn't so upset that she kicked me to the curb. (That happened later, but it's a different story that I will share eventually...)

My back, with Miss's "M" carved on me

Miss - also sadistic Pyro?! And I say that in the absolutely most joyful and flattering way possible!
I think I must have told her how I had fantasied about being burnt with a cigarette. She obliged, I think starting with brushing it lightly against my inner thigh. She escalated from there and pressed the tip against either my balls or cock (or maybe she did both). It hurt like hell!

Miss eventually got to the point where she was using her cigarettes, or incense, to burn a ring around my butt-hole. Those sessions seem to be very very long and intensely painful.

I will need to ask Miss about how she came into awareness about her enjoying inflicting pain so much. I'm really curious!

Recently...
A part of many submissive's nature includes the need to be controlled sexually. I am definitely in that camp. We've moved on to a metal chastity device. We just got it adjusted to the point where I have been able to wear it for several days without any problems. So this week she took the keys to my castle, if you get the idea - LOL.

So, this is a whole different kind of personal sharing. I hope it isn't a turn-off to my blog for anyone out there reading it :-)