Am I a person in transition from Male to Female, or am I a Sissy Kinky Slut?

I realize that what I'm sharing on this blog about myself (primarily) covers two aspects of who I am. Of course I am other things too, but I doubt they are interesting for anyone else to read.

For example, my Super Bowl Sunday shopping trip's intent was to be a "successful" M2F day out en-femme. On that day I felt I was looking good enough to pass. Well in the end I wasn't 100% successful at passing, and many people picked me out.

The not-passing as well as I thought put me into my fearful and anxiety mode, but I actually need to get used to handling that. Unfortunately that is a part of being trans for many of us. I'm thankful for all the media attention that has been growing around transgender issues. The more it's out in the public eye, the more people will become accustomed to us. I think improvements in gay and lesbian acceptance were helped by media attention too.

Now, Sissy Kinky Slut... I never had a self-image that I was attractive as a male. I never felt like I was "all that." Not even the remote concept of that entered my mind. Of course I always wanted my partners to be sexy/slutty, as that's what pushed my buttons. Miss has told me that back in our high school days (when she had me in the friend zone), that she did think I had sexy legs and booty. She loved that I wore OP (Ocean Pacific)  shorts. I loved that she wore Dolphin shorts!!! When she would bend over I loved it because they would ride up and I could see her panties. Skipping forward to today, Miss has a huge additional dimension of attraction for me, the butch Domme dimension :-P 

Ocean Pacific (OP) corduroy shorts

Dolphin shorts

I still feel the same way about my attractiveness as man, but now I realize that I feel attractive, sexy, and desirable when I'm in sexy slutty women's clothes and lingerie. And I have never-ever felt that way en-homme! So, I found my sexual identity and satisfaction - finally. It's almost like I found my G-spot after 30 years or so.

I'm also submissive by nature, and want and need the firm direction of a dominant woman. I am so lucky to have the woman in my life to make that come true. At times I go out in en-homme mode but in women's jeans and shorts (my legs are always shaved). I wear a bra that often is easy for people to see the straps. I wear a little bit of pink lipstick. This feeds my submissive humiliation side when people notice. And Miss loves my humiliation when she sees people doing a double take on me. 

So go figure! I am working on my path to full time transition, to be accepted and to pass as a woman, but at the same time I get off on public humiliation when I'm in boy mode but wearing women's clothing.

Anyone else out there share feelings like these? I'd love to hear! 

Take care everyone!