Halloween

I've noticed Halloween posts have been starting to happen.

We had picked out a pink sissy dress on eBay, which I figured I'd only be wearing in private around the house with Miss.

It arrived yesterday!

Here is a picture of it ->

In reading some of the blog posts I follow over the last day or so, people are mulling over if they will be dressing up for Halloween.

Stana on her Femulate blog was thinking over if she was going to Femualte for work, which she had last done in 2000 and 2003.

I'd say go for it, but her coworkers might just figure her out and that might not be what she's after.

Her post got me thinking... I have this new way-over-the-top sissy dress..... Is this the time to dress up all 'sissy' in public?

We don't have any plans for that night, so hmmmm.....

Just me...

Things are quiet at present on the interesting stuff-to-share front, so I thought I'd post a couple of pictures of me trying on different outfits.


 

I absolutely love the black mesh socks in the picture to the left.

The dress in the other photo I obviously couldn't wear out casually, but it's fun and I really like it!

Best wishes everyone!

jen

New identity - "Stripes?"

I mentioned in the last post that Miss had shared the "Stripes" part of our concert experience with her parents.

She had shown them a picture she took of me in my so called "80s" outfit (taken by Miss from behind.)

She actually told them the pants were women's...but "hedged" a little with them by saying it was ok because they looked unisex :-)

And she told her parents about the group of ladies we met thinking I was gay, and pinup girl nicknaming me "Stripes" because of the blouse I was wearing. Her mom just said that I was a "good sport" to that.

Miss visited her BFF from High School yesterday, and she told me she shared the same basic story with her girlfriend. And that I "gay'd it up" real nice by playing the part.

Miss said she showed her a picture with me wearing the purse. I guess her BFF just laughed!! And her BFF seems pretty conservative, so I wonder what she is really thinking about me. Oh, and the rest of her family too, as I know Miss was probably getting a nice kick out of sharing me that way with all of them.

The concert

We went to a concert this past Saturday. A bunch of 70s/80s bands including Joan Jett. Some were good, some not so good, but what do you expect after 35 years or more after the prime of their careers?

But it really was a very good time, and we had great seats.

 


So I mentioned in a prior post Miss was shooting for an edgier look for herself, not feminine girly, but feminine, well, butch-like for lack of a better term. And we had found a pink ladies top and some other women's clothes for myself. Everything I was wearing was women's clothes - a real thrill for me, even if I wasn't going en-femme. Basically we were flipping our sexual identities for the night!

My outfit, yes, I was definitely going to come off as a gay man :-D Miss of course was dying of happiness at that fact, and how nervous, uncomfortable, insecure, and awkward I was feeling.

A few weeks ago we had each bought a purse (my first purse). I had assumed that it was for a future outing en-femme, but as we were getting ready to leave for the show, she asked about me wearing it. I was surprised when she asked and I probably stammered, embarrassed when I told her I didn't realize it was for tonight. Anyway, I got over my apprehension and we were set to go!

Here I am (well, most of me) ------>







Walking from the parking lot to the venue I didn't catch too many looks our way. Getting in the gate was fun - I had to open my purse so it could be searched (another first!)

Then we had the metal detector wand search. Miss was looking at me while I went through that, and she said the guy wanding me (while I was facing away from him) made "one of those looks" - like I was flaming gay! Well to his credit I'm probably a little bi ;-)

Other than that, we got no detectable notice from employees.

We did meet a fun and interesting group of ladies while outside. Miss was noticing one that was dressed up in a style similar to that of pin-up-girls from the 40s. That's another look she'd like to try out. We were next to them and I pretty much think my 'gayness' was an ice-breaker for them to start up a conversation with us. They were having a REALLY good time - lots of laughing and joking.

When we were all talking a couple of them cozied up to me and were very flirty with me. I guess it's true that gay men get all the attention from the girls? I was not expecting anything like that, let me tell you! Miss said some women like to be flirty with gay men as they can have fun with it but don't have to worry about it going anywhere :-)

Pin-up girl nicknamed me "stripes" as my shirt was pink with white stripes. It was all fun and good, and we bumped into them a couple of more times during the show in the food and restroom areas.

Another cherry on top to this was that I found out via text message from Miss's mom the next day, that Miss had shared the "stripes" part of the trip with her parents. She showed them a picture of me in my so called "80s" outfit from behind, and told them the pants were women's...but they actually looked unisex. And she told her parents about the girls thinking I was gay. Her mom just said that I was a "good sport". Hmmmm, I think Miss is prepping her parents for when I come out one day? Could be confusing to them whenever that happens - based on this they might think I'm a T-girl that likes boys, when I'm a T-girl that likes girls.

We had some interesting characters sitting next to us. On one side was a married couple. The husband was American, I'd say in his late 50s. His wife was from Mexico, I'd say in her early 20s, and spoke no English. To the right was a single guy. He pretty much ignored us the whole time, and when Miss went to use the ladies room leaving me alone, he just glared at me like I was some kind of freak. That really didn't bother me, in fact I kind of drunk his scowling all in and owned it. Oh, there were some girls in the row behind us that were nice and we chatted briefly with them.

Over all, I definitely tried to go all in with my mannerisms and presentation to match my "look". Miss wanted to let the single guy next to us know she was taken by us kissing - but hey that blew my cover! And she also was a bit miffed that I wasn't copping feels from her, but I was trying to go with my look!

Off to a concert this weekend - tiny-tiny bit of gender fun

Miss and I are lucky to have great seats to a concert this weekend.

She has been cooking up a new look for herself for when we go out.

The best way I can describe it is that it has a a bit "rough girl" feel to it. There is a hint of tomboy, pushing a slight bit into the "butch" stereotype look (if there is one). But that's only going to apply to her outfit. Her hair will still be the wonderful curly/wavy completely feminine style, and she said she's going with pink nail polish.

The outfit itself that I think she's planning on wearing, consists of a moss-green top that is webbed in  kind of a crochet mesh style (think of a mesh type beach cover-up, see-through), over the same color top. The pants are tan, and while they are women's, they look more like Dockers or Dickies. Like guy casual work pants. The kicker to this will be her Doc Marten shoes. For the purse it's more of a tote bag type of thing.

I wish I had pictures to share of her outfit (will have those after the show), but here is a picture of a similar purse. Maybe it's more of a satchel-like purse? It's very flat, not bulky at all. I actually think this picture is of the one we bought for me (my first purse!)

I feel very lucky as far as my outfit is concerned. It's 100% women's clothes from head to toe! A pink top, with black vinyl-like textured pants. The shoes are casual black, with a very slight heel. I'll be wearing plumb colored lace socks.

We took a picture of me dressed up (sorry the lighting is poor).

Me!

So while I'm not going as jen, I think we may come off a little like a gay man and woman, or a feminine man and slightly masculine woman based on what we're wearing - which would be pretty fun. And hopefully we'll be promoting acceptance of gender diversity in the process!

Memory Lane: How I moved past wearing just panties and pantyhose to actual clothes

This post was inspired by memory lane, thanks to a post about the movie The Crying Game made by Cyrsti over at Cyrsti's Transgender Condo. I posted a version of this post there, but wanted to add a little more to it here.

I think I caught this movie a year or so after it came out, when it hit HBO or Showtime.

That post made me wonder where my mind was as far as my transgender evolution was concerned, and what my own feelings about trans people were at the time. I certainly didn't know any that I was aware of.

So as far as the movie goes and what I thought about it, and my reaction to it... I think I was just blown away that it was actually a guy and not a girl. That was probably my first "real" transgender experience (yeah lame, just a movie). At that time that was probably the most edgy movie I had ever seen (discounting all the VHS porn which was just plain vanilla stuff).

At the time I was married with 2 young kids. I know that during this time I was wearing pantyhose every now and then, and mostly in a sexual context, but I think that was the extent of my girlyness back then. I was in my mid 20s.

Subconsciously I think was exploring whether my wife was going to accept it, and if so how far or how much.

Thinking back now, she accepted it, but barely. She wasn't *really* into it or very encouraging. I think that alone kept me in a holding pattern for about 15 years. I just repressed moving any farther than occasional wearing of pantyhose/stockings and panties - which might have been a compulsion I couldn't control. I think I was hoping my wife would get turned on by it, and that would have been my sign that she was on-board, and that I could move forward with it.

Never happened, but luckily we split up, and I reconnected with my high school crush. With her I am SO lucky!

I eventually got the courage to tell my girlfriend I wore panties and pantyhose. She didn't react badly when I first broke the news. I did it at her work to avoid a serious blow up (if it were to happen that way which it didn't).

Well she got right on board. TOTALLY!

It seemed like no time went by before she had me try on some of her clothes and panties (full dress up time), which I had never worn anything other than lingerie before. It was incredible to do that for the first time, and with someone I was in a relationship with to boot! OMG paydirt!

The result of this was that my girlfriend opened me up to a dream I had never, ever consciously considered! "Not in a million years" as they say :-) If it weren't for her not just accepting, but encouraging and facilitating me, I'd still be where I was. And not happy at all.

Oh, and she bought me my first dress back then, a cute black and white dress. We bought thigh high stockings and she started taking pictures of me dressed up. It was such an awesome time for me, really it was an awakening of who I really should be that happened thanks to her.

Now all I can dream of are the times I get to be a girl. What a flip!

Thank you sweetheart, I love you!

Weekend fun - time to touch up those brands! - OUCH!!!

OK I've been a little remiss in posting pictures, so here are a couple from the weekend.

My brands had faded over the last few months, so this past weekend Miss took a little time to 'freshen' them up :-D

When I think of these brands I feel so loved, close, and connected to her. And she just loves having someone that she can burn, carve, and inflict physical pain on. Let's just say it really gets her motor running.

To be clear, I do not like pain. At all. This and other things she does to me really really do hurt.

But I love being able to take what she gives to me. What more could I do to demonstrate the extent of my love and devotion than to suffer her whims, at the end of her implements of pain and torture? In the aftermath of our playtime, I feel like I've served her well as a source of pleasure. And that's what we all want for our partners, for them to enjoy their relationship with us in as many ways as they can.

We started out branding with incense. And I think for a brief time she would heat the tip of some metal object.

But after reading up on the subject we ended up going to Radio Shack and picked up a $20 battery powered soldering iron. Works great!

And here are the results. The two hearts brand is just above my bikini area. You can see I got a little sun this past weekend. It was HOT!

Two hearts together

The other brand is her initial, which is in an easy to guess location :-) I love the angle of the picture, it makes me look like 'babies got back', and an actual figure- LOL!

Her initial - this one hurts the most!

Prior to getting into branding she would carve her initial here. That hurts a lot too! One day I'd like to get a heart or some other kind of tattoo as a kind of frame around that area, and she can brand or carve her initial inside it.